Alex woke up in a sweat from the same nightmare he’d had for months after he’d taken the life-altering hit to his head. Not only did he relive the moment of impact, the details of which had eventually returned to him, but he actually experienced the searing pain. Six months had passed since that Thanksgiving weekend, and he’d thought that damned dream was behind him. But he should’ve expected it again now since training had begun for the football season and, along with it, the renewed feeling that his life was over.
He rolled his tight shoulders, the stress of not knowing what to do next eating at his gut. He sat up in bed and stretched. Maybe he just needed to get laid. After all, he hadn’t indulged in his favorite pastime in far too long. Problem was, every time he picked up his phone, none of the names listed there appealed to him.
Okay, one did, but he’d burned that bridge. To the ground, if his best friend and sister-in-law, Riley, was to be believed. Considering the way he’d thrown Madison Evans out of his hospital room, he figured his best friend was right. He winced at the memory, self-loathing filling him for how he’d treated Madison.
He remembered the moment as if it had just happened. After the concussion and the battery of tests, the doctors had insisted on keeping him overnight. Riley, Ian, his brother, Jason, and sister, Sienna, had stopped in to see him. He hadn’t been pleasant, but they were family. They had to forgive him. His parents had come next, and they’d understood his depressed mental state. The revolving door of visitors had made his head spin even more than the injury. He’d assured them all he was just fine and tossed them the hell out. Pity and concern were the last things he needed. He’d been throwing a big enough party all by himself.
Then she’d shown up.
He’d looked up to see Madison standing there, blonde hair spilling over her shoulders, covering luscious breasts he’d had in his mouth and hands the night before. He might’ve been down for the count, but he could still appreciate a beautiful woman, and this one did it for him. She had from first sight, which was why he’d kept her around longer than his usual female.
But he’d been getting antsy, especially with how close she was to his family, spending the Thanksgiving holiday with them. How stupid was he, fucking where he lived? He had an old man who’d married one woman while keeping another on the side. Was it any wonder Alex had done something so dumb?
The one and only time he’d let a woman close, she’d cut his heart out without thought. He’d sworn never again and thought he’d meant it. Only Madison had broken through those walls he’d erected, fitting in with his life too well, and it scared the shit out of him.
And now? He had no career, no future, and he sure as hell didn’t need to be worrying about a relationship of any kind.
“What are you doing here?” he’d asked her.
“I’m worried about you. I came to see if you’re okay.” Concern filled her big blue eyes, and she started toward him.
He held up a hand to stop her. “I’m fine.”
“Riley said—”
“I don’t care what Riley told you. I’m not your problem, got it?”
She visibly swallowed hard, the delicate muscles in her neck working up and down. “I thought you might need me.”
He managed a harsh laugh. “I’ve got my family. I don’t need you.”
“So we’re—”
“There is no we, sweetheart. It was fun. Now it’s over.”
Moisture filled her eyes, and in that moment, he hated himself.
“I forgot,” she said. “Alex Dare doesn’t do relationships.”
“Damned right,” he muttered.
She straightened her shoulders, backbone he’d sensed in her from the beginning taking over. “I was foolish for thinking I found someone human and real beneath the façade. You’re every bit the man whore the Internet and your reputation say you are.”
She started for the door, then turned back to face him. “You’re a cold-hearted selfish bastard too.” She stormed out, slamming the door behind her.
His head pounded at the noise, and he cursed out loud.
He could admit now that he deserved every word. There was no getting around the fact that until six months ago, he’d been exactly the man whore Madison had accused him of being. He hadn’t seen anything wrong with it either. All the women in his life up to that point had known what they were getting into.
Hell, he thought Madison had too, but that’s what he got for assuming. But he should have known better. She was different, and he’d always sensed it. Which must explain why he couldn’t get her out of his head, all these months later.
No other woman who’d graced his bed ever lingered in his mind. Except for the blonde-haired vixen he never should have fucked. At this point he was sure that concussion had scrambled his brains even worse than he’d thought. But he couldn’t deny that the memory of what he’d said to her shamed him, and it’d been a long time since he could remember feeling that particular emotion.
He slid out of bed and took a long, hot shower. He’d just stepped out when his phone rang.
He grabbed his cell from the counter. “What’s up?” he asked, answering at the same time he wrapped a towel around his waist.
“Good morning, Alex,” a familiar voice said.