His strong hands came to rest on her waist, and as his fingers splayed over her stomach, he maneuvered her closer, his hot, hard erection cushioned in the heat of her sex. Waves of unexpected desire shot through her, and she gripped his hair in her hands, kissing him harder, her hips circling back and forth over his straining shaft. Only her barely there panties kept her from the insanity of his cock thrusting into her willing body.
Warning bells went off in her head, but she was too far gone to heed them. Until his fingers slid up her sides, gliding over her skin, reaching beneath her shirt, and coming to rest beneath her breasts.
She wanted to ignore the continued worry creeping in behind the arousal, but when his fingers glided over her nipples, she jerked back, memories of his reaction after he’d pushed her away much stronger than the sensual feelings he aroused in the present. She’d been so lost in being with him then, not even the pain of her first time had mattered, until the sharp snap of his angry tone had burst her fantasy.
She hadn’t been enough for him then, no matter what he claimed today, and no way could she be enough for him now. She was, and always would be, a girl who was good enough to be used—by her father for bone marrow to save her stepmother and by Tyler for sex and nothing after. Both men had defined her expectations. Nobody would protect her. Nobody would look after her, except herself.
“I … can’t. This isn’t a good idea.”
He stared at her for a silent while, until finally he spoke. “I respect what you’re saying. I even agree. But—and let me be crystal clear this time—not for the reasons you’re thinking. I want you, Ella. I’ve always wanted you.”
She blinked in surprise.
Yesterday he’d explained that his anger hadn’t been at her, it had been at himself. But that didn’t change her insecurities or the fact that during all her sexual encounters since, she’d had Tyler’s disgust ringing in her brain. She could never make herself enjoy the physical act, because the one man she’d wanted had rejected her so harshly and at such a vulnerable age and time.
She ran her tongue over her dry lips. “So you were serious? You weren’t just trying to make me feel better?” The sex hadn’t sucked for him?
“No, sweet girl, the sex definitely didn’t suck.”
A full-body shiver took hold, a result of the endearment and heartfelt words.
“And if … or when it happens again,” he continued, “it definitely won’t suck then either.”
Her eyes opened so wide she imagined they were saucers in her face. “Okay then.” She scrambled for the far side of the bed and rose to her feet. Shaking, she said, “I need to get dressed.”
An amused grin pulled at his lips, and she glanced away, unable to face what he was insinuating.
At least not yet.
“I’ll check on the weather and flight plan. Then we can get the hotel to let you back into your room so you can pack up your things. I don’t give a shit if the cops are too busy to check things out. We’re going home.”
She nodded, all too happy to get out of here. To real life, where she didn’t have to deal with Tyler Dare, his tousled hair, sexy bedroom eyes, and hot kisses.
Chapter Three
With his blood still running hot in his veins, Tyler accompanied Ella to her trashed hotel room. It hurt him to see the pained look in her eyes when she took in how carelessly her clothing and possessions had been tossed around. But to her credit, she straightened her shoulders and forged ahead.
What had he been thinking, insinuating he could sleep with her again? She deserved so much more than a guy whose past consisted of fucking up when things got tough.
Memories of Jack, his best friend in the Army, resurfaced, and with Avery busy, he couldn’t hold them back. Tyler appreciated his time in the Army for what it was, teaching him to become tougher, stronger, the man his father had told him to be. But he’d hated every minute of the reality. The gritty sand in the Middle East, the ridiculously hot temperatures while they carried too many pounds of clothing and equipment on their sweating bodies. And death. Everywhere. Men, women, children. The sound of gunfire, bombs, IEDs …
Jack hadn’t been able to handle the thought of those. He’d wanted out and said so over and over again. But hell, they’d all wanted out. Tyler, too, hadn’t been able to wait till their tour was over. Six months and counting, he’d known he could pull through. His mistake had been in thinking Jack could too. His friend had gone AWOL and fucking gotten himself killed, leaving a wife and a baby at home. And once again, Tyler was left feeling like, if he’d only said something, he might have saved his friend.
Like he could have warned his mother. And the same way he could have spared Ella the humiliation and pain she’d clearly suffered all these years if only he’d stuck around afterwards and faced her like a man.
/> Jack’s death had put a mirror to Tyler’s flaws. It’d brought him home knowing he had to do better but uncertain if he had it in him. So he had no business getting involved with Ella physically when emotionally he could still decimate her.
Realizing he’d been lost in thought, he glanced over, only to find she, too, was lost in the devastation of her room. He took in the mess. Her suitcase was already open and had obviously been searched. With trembling hands, she threw her clothes into the luggage, taking time to examine each piece as if she could find answers. Unable to stand it a second longer, he stepped up behind her and grasped her shoulders, turning her to face him.
He wasn’t surprised to see tears in her eyes. “It’s just stuff. Things that can be replaced.”
She nodded. “I know but I feel so violated.” She sniffed and glanced around the room. “Someone touched my things.” She stared at the tee shirt in her hand and dropped it as if it were contaminated.
In his line of business, Tyler had seen similar reactions before. It was worse when someone’s home had been broken into, leaving them forced to come to terms with the fact that their sanctuary, a place they returned to day in and day out, would never feel safe again.
He pushed the suitcase away. “Leave everything that doesn’t have special meaning. You can replace it at home.”
She blinked up at him. “But it’s expensive.”