Ella met Jillian’s gaze. She nodded and rattled off some specialties from the menu.
The man turned to Ella, who settled for the basics, a California roll, Philadelphia roll, and edamame. She wasn’t all that hungry. And she was unsure if she was more upset with Tyler for disappearing or with herself for a) expecting more than he’d promised, and b) for caring.
Because if she didn’t care, she couldn’t be hurt. And she’d promised herself she wouldn’t let Tyler Dare hurt her again.
Chapter Seven
Tyler had a security job out of town, a high-profile client who insisted he be there in person to handle the details. He worked long hours and arrived home in time for his monthly dinner with Serena and her six-year-old daughter, JayJay, named after her father, Jack Junior. They always met at her favorite place, Pizza Palace, where they gave her dough to play with at the table.
He arrived to find the ladies already seated. No sooner had he walked over than JayJay jumped up squealing. “Uncle Tyler!” The words came out more like a shriek at high decibels than a normal tone.
“Hi, babycakes!” He leaned in, and she braced her dough-covered hands on his cheeks and treated him to a sloppy kiss.
“Hi, Serena.” He sat down in the chair next to JayJay, across from Serena.
“Hi.” She picked up a napkin and dipped it in a glass of water, leaned across¸ and wiped his cheek. “Sorry.”
He shook his head. “It’s fine. She’s happy to see me.”
“You’re so good with kids,” Serena said, her brown eyes warm as she glanced at her daughter.
Her words gave him pause. “You think so?”
He had his niece, Rainey, a three-year-old with her mother and father’s independent streak. He spent time with her at every family gathering, remembered to bring a gift¸ usually a unicorn since she was obsessed with the mythical creatures, and he’d even been known to make up a story or two for her amusement.
He set a stuffed dog he’d been holding beneath his arm in front of JayJay. “Puppy!” she yelled, causing her mother to whisper about using her indoor voice. Serena had been putting off dog requests from the precocious child, and Tyler thought it was his duty to provide substitutes for the time being.
“Of course I think you’re good with her. You show up every month. It means the world to her. And to me.” Serena pushed her brown hair off her shoulders.
“I love you guys. Besides, if Jack can’t be here, I can.” He glanced at JayJay, who didn’t react to the mention of her father’s name. She was absorbed in play, babbling at her new stuffed toy.
“Don’t worry. She doesn’t remember him,” she said sadly. “Though I do talk about him often. Once she’s older, I want her to know about her dad. Although I think I could live without her ever finding out he ran away from base camp in Iraq and went AWOL and was killed by the enemy.” She shook her head and he placed his hand over hers.
“I haven’t come to terms with it either,” Tyler said. “I just wish—”
“What?”
He took another look at JayJay, who’d turned to pounding the pizza dough. She looked so much like her father a lump rose to his throat.
“I wish I’d realized he was serious. All those times he talked about just walking away.” Tyler ran a shaking hand through his hair. “I mean, we all talked about it. Joked about it, really. What else could we do in that hellhole of IEDs and women and children willing to blow themselves up?” He cut himself off and muttered a curse at his callous words in front of Jack’s widow and child.
This was why he didn’t talk about his time there. He hadn’t been in Iraq long, though the year had felt like forever, and he’d come away damned lucky. No PTSD, just horrific dreams and memories he’d never forget. And he hadn’t experienced as much horror as many of the guys. But the sounds, the screams, the fear that any drive or step could be your last remained with him.
And now he was screwing this up in front of Jack’s family.
“Tyler, no. How could you
have known Jack would just … slip out one night?”
He glanced at the paper-covered table. Crayons from JayJay surrounded him as did scribbles on his side too. “He was my best friend. I should have seen it was more than just words. And maybe I did see and didn’t want to because then I’d have had to do something. Like report him to my superior, and he’d have been so fuck—so angry.” Like he hadn’t told his mother about finding his father and his mistress.
Pain sliced through his chest at both remembrances. So many if onlys…
Serena toyed with a fork in front of her, spinning it between her hands. “I honestly don’t think any decision you made under those conditions could have been the wrong one. Unless you weren’t there for him when he needed you, and I know you were.”
Tyler let out a low, sarcastic laugh. “You’re so sure.”
“I am.” She glared at him for questioning her.