It’s fight or flight.
It’s kill or be killed.
I straighten in front of Ari’s grave, one hand clutching the other in front of me.
Arianna Carson, beloved daughter and sister.
Each word is a ruthless stab. The sentence is as gruesome as if it were written in blood.
She died so young, in her prime years, seventeen going on eighteen.
Her smile is starting to fade from my memories. It crashed and burned that day three years ago.
All I can see is her tear-streaked face, the trembling of her lips, and the white dress that flew in the wind behind her as she stood on the edge.
Her face was pale as she shook like a leaf and confessed the words that killed me on the spot.
The words that ended my fucking life with hers.
I’m so sorry.
I briefly close my eyes to push away the onslaught of memories—the look on her face, the way her legs gave out…
She should be standing here with me as we visit Mom’s grave. She would’ve told me not to hate the man who acted as our father. She would’ve said she missed Mom and hugged me.
Since I was ten, I’ve known Alexander is a useless father. If I wanted my baby sister and me to have a good life after Mom, I needed to step up. So I did just that; I became her mother, father, brother, and best friend.
I became Ari’s world, and she was mine.
Until she left me and joined Mom.
I lean over and stroke my fingers over the tombstone. At her funeral, I sat here for the entire night wondering where I had gone wrong.
Was I too protective? Was I not attentive enough? Was I too fucking stupid?
Then I realized, I hadn’t done anything. Ari had told me she was sorry. She hadn’t wanted to leave me, but she couldn’t stay in this world.
A world in which Reina existed.
After that, I decided to leave, because I didn’t want to be in such a world either. I didn’t want to see her fucking breathing when my only family lay six feet under.
Alexander doesn’t count. For me, he was only a sperm donor, never a father. Writing checks made him a sponsor, not a parent.
Actually, he was a parent to Reina more than to his real children. She’s his precious partner’s daughter and a source of income. We were a fucking liability he had to spend his money on.
When I left for England, I prom
ised I’d put everything behind me.
Back then, Reina knew exactly what I thought about her, and I wanted her to suffer until the day she dies. I wanted the guilt to eat her from the inside out, until she’s old and gray and still living in Blackwood.
And she accepted her punishment. Our punishment.
But she broke the rules that night.
She wanted to escape.
Fuck that. Fuck my patience for seeing her decimated little by little.