That doesn’t mean what he did to me is acceptable, but I can’t leave him drowning with no way out.
Asher might have held a grudge against me all this time, but I don’t think I ever felt any hate toward him.
If anything, my feelings have only intensified, turning hotter, brighter, and scarier.
And for that, I need to fix his misconceptions, even though it’ll destroy everything he knew about his sister, the person he considered his only family.
“Do you see now? Do you see how you fucking ended mine and my sister’s lives?” He speaks low and threatening, almost like he’s on the verge of acting on his destructive emotions.
That’s the thing about Asher. Since Arianna’s death, he’s only survived on the thought that one day he’ll bring her justice by eliminating me.
But he hasn’t.
For three years, he hasn’t managed to act on his promise.
“Why haven’t you killed me yet?” I murmur.
“Death is too lenient for you.” He glares down at me so harshly I feel it to my bones. “You have to suffer.”
“I think I’ve suffered enough.” I keep my voice neutral. “Why don’t you kill me?”
He reaches me in two long strides and wraps a hand around my throat. His squeeze isn’t threatening or erotic. This one is meant to suffocate, to kill, like in that classroom when I lay on the ground.
Even though my body revolts, begging for life, I don’t fight him. I just look up at him as my lungs burn with the need for air.
I don’t mean to, but a tear falls down my cheek and onto his hand.
“Fuck!” He releases me with a shove. “Don’t fucking tempt me, Reina. I’m this close to killing us both.”
I massage my neck, wheezing for breath. A small part of me is rejoicing at the fact that he didn’t kill me.
He can’t.
I can see that torment in his eyes; it’s as clear as the feelings I have for him.
“Why both of us?” I whisper. “You only need to kill me.”
“Shut the fuck up, Reina.”
“Why?” I cry. “Just why? Because you don’t hate me as much as you tell yourself? You can’t hate me? You want to be with me?”
He crouches in front of me and traps my jaw between his thumb and forefinger. “Because I can’t fucking live without you. I tried it and it was hell.”
“But Arianna…”
He closes his eyes for a brief second. “That doesn’t mean I stopped hating you.”
“Then you hated me for the wrong reasons.” I swallow. “I think we’ve been both played.”
“Played?”
“I remember the day Arianna talked to me.” His jaw clenches but I stop him with a hand on his arm. “Let me finish.”
I go on and tell him what Arianna told me about her feelings for Asher and how she asked me to leave him so she could have him.
For a second, Asher watches me intently, his fingers still clutching my chin as if he needs the connection as much as I do.
Before he can say anything, I blurt, “I didn’t make up the memory. Dr. Anderson said it’s not possible.”