The Man She Shouldn't Crave

‘I am seeing where it comes from. The attitude. You needed it.’

‘Yes, well, I learned young to stand up for myself. But they do dote on me. It was a bit of a problem as I got older. Do you know I didn’t have a boyfriend until I left for college? Brick and Jackson chased them all away.’

Plato relaxed. He liked these brothers of hers already. ‘You don’t say, Tex?’

‘First thing I did when I got to Houston was check out the football team and get myself a quarterback.’

The tension shot back into his neck.

‘Then Boyd turned up and threatened to have him thrown off the team if he had anything more to do with me. Boyd was a bit of a star on the university squad in his day, and the coach was a friend of the family, so…’

‘No more quarterbacks,’ he said with some satisfaction.

‘I guess if I’d had a more normal romantic development I wouldn’t have taken up with Bill in the first place,’ she said softly.

‘When you overreact with me you’re thinking about this guy who tried to control you,’ Plato said in a deep dark voice, ‘and it’s made you wary. I understand.’

Rose lifted her head to protest, but he was right, and she found herself laying her head on his shoulder and confessing, ‘I was supposed to be special to him. He was supposed to put me first before everyone else. Instead he put me last.’

‘Rose.’

Plato’s voice was rough. She could feel him looking down at her but she needed to get the rest of this out. Maybe it was the incredible intimacy of lying here with him like this, but she wanted to show him a little bit of her heart.

‘I spent all my teen years finding matches for other people, watching other girls have romances. I wanted to have that for a change, and so I had to go behind my family’s back to be with Bill. By the time I realised I’d made a mistake it was too late. I’d made my bed. I thought I had to lie in it. I was raised to honour my promises.’ She looked up and met his eyes. ‘It must sound crazy to you.’

‘Honourable,’ he said quietly, ‘and young. You forget, I come from a small town. I know what it can be like.’

‘Yes.’ She sighed. ‘And I wasn’t the girl I am now.’

‘Fiery, strong-willed.’ He kissed her lips softly. ‘My tough little Texan.’

‘I was all those things before I met Bill, and then suddenly I couldn’t be them any more. There was too much pressure on me not to be. To be someone else’s version of Southern womanhood. In the end I just ran.’

‘Ran?’

‘To the shelter where I volunteered. They helped me organise myself so I could get the hell out of Houston.’

Plato’s arms tightened around her. ‘But not back to Fidelity Falls?’

‘No. I was too ashamed.’

Plato said something in Russian. It didn’t sound very nice. Then he pressed a fierce kiss to her temple.

It felt a lifetime ago at this moment, that life. She’d come so far. ‘It was awful,’ she said simply, softly. ‘But it’s over.’ She angled up a curious look. ‘Tell me about your family.’

‘Just me and my grandparents.’ He sounded gruff.

‘Are they still alive? Do you go back and see them?’

‘I go back whenever I can. The Wolves are based there.’ He wanted to stop there, but she was shining those big blue eyes on him. He hesitated, then told her, ‘My grandparents are gone now.’

‘Did they live to see your success?’

‘Nyet.’

The back of Rose’s head nestled against his shoulder. He could feel her listening, her interest. What would it hurt to tell her more? To give a little of what she wanted?

‘Dedushka—my grandfather—was born and lived under another system than the on