?You have the best ideas, baby,” she said as she moved off the bed. “I’m going to clean up and then I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”
Again I wondered, how the hell did I get so damn lucky?
***
We ate dinner and had just finished cleaning up when I leant against the counter and watched Evie finish packing up the leftovers to put in the fridge. The meal she’d cooked had been amazing but she’d always been a good cook so that had never been in doubt. She covered the last dish with tin foil and as she walked to the fridge she caught me watching her and flashed me a smile. Tilting her head, she asked, “What’s going through your mind? You look deep in thought.”
I wrestled with my decision whether to tell her or not. I’d actually been struggling with this decision for a few days and I’d come to the conclusion that for Evie and I to move forward, I had to tell her.
“It was Jeremy,” I started and then stopped, trying hard to get the words out right.
She frowned as she put the last dish in the fridge. Shutting the door, she came to me and asked, “What was Jeremy?”
Shit, I had to get this out right because I didn’t want her to end up hating him. I raked my fingers through my hair. “The reason I ended things with you. Jeremy convinced me that letting you get close to Storm would put you in danger, so I pulled away.”
She stared at me, shock evident on her face. “What? I don’t understand . . . why would he do that when he knew all I wanted was to be with you?”
Fuck.
I reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her close. “Because he loved you as much as I do. Because he was the best friend either of us had, and he didn’t want you to get hurt from your involvement with the club. Don’t hate him, baby. He only wanted the best for you.”
Wide eyes looked up at me, and the pain I saw there gutted me.
Maybe I shouldn’t have told her.
When she burst into tears, I wrapped her in my arms and pulled her close.
Her body shook with sobs and I pressed my lips to her forehead, trying to soothe her.
We stayed wrapped together for a long time, allowing the memories to come and the grief to flow through us. I fucking missed him, and I wondered if this shit would ever get easier. Not having him in my life had been hard but at least I’d always known he was close if I needed him. Now, he was fucking unreachable and that left a hole that would never be filled by anyone ever again. Not even Evie.
Eventually she pulled away and looked up at me through tear-soaked lashes. “I don’t hate him. I never could . . . I’m glad you told me, because it changes the way I feel about how we ended things.”
My brows pulled together. “How?”
She sucked in a breath and gave me a hesitant glance. “I thought you didn’t love me enough to fight for me, but now I can see you loved me so much that you walked away with unselfish motives. You’re such a good man, Kick, and you don’t even realise it.”
Her words washed over me like a soothing shot of love. They weren’t accurate words but I fucking needed them and let a sliver of them in. I let them wash away some of the grime that covered my heart.
“Fuck, all that wasted time,” I muttered.
Her eyes searched mine. “What made you change your mind after all this time?” she asked softly.
Moment of truth. I didn’t want to, but I had to speak honestly even if it hurt her. I’d decided that being completely open with her was the only way we’d survive this harsh world together. “You’ve got no clue how hard it was for me to stay away all these years. When you shut me out completely a year ago, it nearly fuckin’ destroyed me, baby. I’ve done a lot of things I never thought I would since then, not giving one shit about anything, because the only thing worth giving a shit about was lost to me. Some days I wake up disgusted with the person I’ve allowed myself to become. When Jeremy got in touch with me a couple of months ago, he told me he thought he was wrong. He said he’d watched you lose yourself over the last year and that he knew you and I should be together regardless of the club.”
“Why didn’t you come to me then?” I hated the sadness in her voice. She was right, though. I should have fixed this back then.
I looked at her with the regret that weighed me down. “I wasn’t convinced he was right. The person I’d become wasn’t someone I wanted you to know . . . but when he died . . . fuck, that fucked with my mind, Evie. I replayed everything over and over in my mind a million times, and then when I saw you at the funeral, I knew I had no choice.” I paused and gave her a small smile. “My mind had no choice because my heart had already made it.”
I’d barely gotten the words out when her arms came up around my neck and her mouth took over mine in a kiss I’d have paid all the money I had in the world for. It was a kiss that told me I’d made the right decision to be open with her and that I’d made the absolute right choice to fight for her.
It was a kiss that sealed my future.
Evie would be mine forever.
I’d make damn sure of it.
Chapter Thirteen