“You fell under her spell? What the hell does that mean? She’s your child for fuck’s sake. What kind of parent talks about their children like that?” Fucking hell.
Her displeasure plastered itself over her face, but I ignored it. I didn’t give a flying fuck if I upset her. “She’s not my blood. I tried to help her, and look what I got in return—nothing but heartache.”
My breaths came harder. Heavier. They carried my fury as I let loose on her. “There’s a reason you weren’t blessed with children of your own. Heartache is part of love, and when you choose to bring a child into your life, you choose all the things that go with love. You can’t fucking have love without pain. As a parent, it’s your job to teach your child how to deal with both so that they can go out into the world and stand on their own two feet and weather the fucking storm of love. If you weren’t ready for that job or to accept that sometimes those you love will tear pieces of your heart out, you should never have taken Ivy in. Because the very word mother means unconditional fucking love. It means protection. It means safety. And while you knew how to make cookies and decorate a house so it looked like you were a mother, you never had a fucking clue how to give any of those things.”
My tirade angered her to the point where she finally gave me the kind of emotional response I felt this conversation deserved, but it wasn’t the response I’d hoped for. Pointing at the front door, she snarled, “You’ve said what you came for and now you can leave. And don’t ever come back here. You are never welcome here again.”
I had no intention of ever coming back here. I wasn’t sure why I thought this had been a good idea to begin with.
Anger and disappointment punched through me as I stalked out to my bike. Thank fuck I hadn’t told Ivy I was coming here. Bethany’s rejection would have killed her.
Thoughts of Bethany filled my mind for the rest of the day. As much as I tried, I couldn’t get her out of there. A headache settled in at lunchtime and intensified to the point where I wanted to rip my fucking head off by 6:00 p.m. I called Lily to let her know I wouldn’t be over tonight. Fuck knew I was in a mood, and she didn’t need to be subjected to it.
“Hey you,” she answered with a smile I could hear all the way over here. “I’ve just put dinner in the oven, and the best news of the day is that Linc took the kids, so we have the place to ourselves.”
Fuck.
“I can’t make it tonight.” I was a fucking bastard, but the choice was made for her, and as far as I was concerned, it was the right one.
She went silent for a beat. “What’s wrong, King? You sound off.”
I rubbed my temple. “It’s been a shit of a fucking day, and trust me, you do not need me there tonight.”
Silence again, and then softly—“Okay so while I get that, here’s something for you to consider. Maybe when you have a shit of a fucking day, coming to see me is exactly what you need. That’s what relationships are about, right? Sometimes you give, sometimes you take. Let me give tonight. And if all you want is to sit in front of the TV in silence, I’m good with that. We can just be tonight. We don’t have to do.”
Somehow I knew that when Lily made an offer or promise like this, she meant it and would make good on her word. I also knew this was her telling me she wanted to be the one to help me. And while I had never been big on people helping me, because mostly they just fucking let me down, I also knew I’d finally found someone I wanted to allow in to help. Lily wouldn’t let me down.
“I’m leaving now,” I said gruffly. “You got beer?”
“Yes,” she said around another smile I figured they could fucking see from Mars, “I have beer.”
22
Lily
Monday night, I sat outside on my back patio, grabbing as many quiet moments to myself as I could while my kids and mother fussed over Brynn inside. I leaned back in my seat and stared up at the dark sky while trying not to think about the fact I wasn’t smoking. I’d given it up again this morning. I was sure I was already nearly dead from that. Everyone told me smoking would kill me; I figured not smoking might be more dangerous to my health. My mental health at least.
I shifted my thoughts to King and the weekend we’d just had together. He’d shown up Friday night all screwed up by something that had happened that day. I hadn’t asked him what. He hadn’t offered. I’d learnt that King didn’t like to discuss shit, and I was okay with that. I mean, I wanted to know everything about him, but I refused to try to change him to be someone he wasn’t. King had a lot of baggage, but he didn’t want or need someone to carry it for him. He just needed someone to take the trip with him, and I liked the views his journey offered, so I was all on board.
He’d worked my body so hard that night that there hadn’t been any more sex for us on the weekend. I’d taken care of him, but he hadn’t tried to fuck me again, and I hadn’t asked for it. Jesus, the man was brutal in bed, but I couldn’t get enough of him. King put a smile on my face simply by breathing. All it took was a thought of him, and I was smiling like a loon.
Adelaide had asked me on Friday why I wasn’t fearful of getting involved with a man like King, a man who ran an MC. I’d told her she didn’t know his heart, which meant she didn’t know anything. When I met King, I saw two things—that he had the kind of looks I was attracted to, and that he was a bit of an asshole. Then I saw how he cared for and looked after his sister. Then I saw a moody bastard who liked to boss people around, but who also helped people when they needed it. Through all of that, I saw a man trying to handle his business and look after those he cared for. I didn’t see the biker or club president with a dark streak that Adelaide would have run a mile from. By the time I saw King’s club and all that entailed, I’d already fallen for his heart. And for me, everything in life was about the heart.
I had been worried when he’d told me the kids and I may have been in danger. I’d definitely spent some time running through scenarios in my mind of what he could possibly have been referring to. I had also thought long and hard about what this meant for my life going forward. In the end, I’d decided to put my faith in him and his men to protect us. At the core of the matter was my heart. I couldn’t change who it led me to. And King had mine. Now he had my complete trust, too.
“Lily.”
I turned my face to find King walking towards me. Standing, I met him halfway and looped my hands around his neck. That was after I took the time to run my gaze over his body, appreciating the way his muscles filled out his clothes. My belly fluttered as I thought about those muscles. His powerful thighs straddling me, his strong arms holding me, his firm ass that I couldn’t get enough of.
After I caught his lips in a kiss, I said, “I was just thinking about you.”
He snaked his hands around my waist and settled them on my butt. “Your mother told me you’ve been sitting out here for a while now. You good?”
I liked how he always had a way of taking in the stuff I said to him without feeling the need to comment on it or engage in conversation about it. Because honestly, sometimes I rambled. King let me do that without complaint.
“I’m good. I’m taking advantage of the kids being occupied by Brynn and Mum.” I leaned in close and inhaled his scent. “Oh God, you smell so good.” At his frown, I said, “I quit smoking again today. I can smell the cigarettes on you, so you should expect me to be smelling you a lot going forward.”
His lips twitched and he brought his mouth back to mine. He then kissed me so thoroughly and for so long that I got lost in it and missed him as soon as he pulled away. “Maybe I’ll smoke more and kiss you more, just so you can get the taste,” he rumbled.