I shrugged. “You could make an exception for that. It’s not like you’d have to see him again.”
“Babe, I’m not you. I actually want a relationship and hate one-night stands.”
“I don’t love one-night stands.”
“True, but you also don’t want a guy to get too close.” She paused for a moment. “Not every guy is Randall.”
I sucked in a breath at the mention of him again. “Can we not say his name again today? It’s been a bad enough day as it is.”
She flicked her long red hair and frowned. “Whose name? I have no idea who you are talking about.”
“Yeah, me either.” I pushed a stray hair out of my eyes. “I need to ask you a favour.”
She smiled. “Anything, you know that.”
“One of my girls needs a place to stay while I help her leave the guy she’s living with. He’s an ass and I’m concerned what he might do once she leaves, so I wa
nt to find her a place he would never find her.”
“Of course. And if he does come around, remember, I’ve got skills. I could take him on,” she said with a grin.
I laughed. “You could. Thank you, I owe you one.”
My phone sounded with a text.
Duvall: All sorted.
Me: My demons thank you.
He didn’t reply, so I looked back up at Monroe when she asked, “Who’s that?”
“Duvall. I think he’s done with me.”
“No, he’s not. That man has it bad for you.”
“Not anymore, but that’s a good thing. I don’t want to drag him into my shit.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “Did you ever consider dating him when you two got close?”
Memories of Duvall being there for me after my marriage exploded filled my mind. I allowed myself a moment to dwell in them, because while that was one of the hardest times of my life, he’d made me feel hope. But hope wasn’t always productive. How could it be when the dark had already consumed you? When you couldn’t remember what light looked like anymore.
My shoulders sagged as I answered her honestly. “I thought about being with him. I thought about how different he’d be to what I’d always known in a partner, and I wanted that. But I don’t know the first thing about giving that kind of love back, Monroe. I’d ruin Duvall if I gave myself to him, because dark will always kill light.”
“Or maybe light would mix some new shinier colours,” she said softly.
I loved her for being a dreamer. As much as I’d given up on in life, I still held onto some of my tattered dreams. Monroe was the one person who helped me remember to breathe life into those dreams occasionally.
As I left Monroe’s, a text buzzed through.
Duvall: You’re wrong. I could never run from your demons.
9
Nitro
“The Red” by Chevelle
After Church, I headed over to my sister’s house, not sure if I’d find her there or at the bank where she worked. She lived a block from me, having moved out of my place a few years ago.