* * *
“You’re watching TV?” Monroe’s shock vibrated through the phone that night when I told her I was going to watch Game of Thrones.
I laughed as I held the phone to my ear while making myself a Milo at the kitchen counter. “Yeah, and it starts in fifteen minutes so I have to get off the phone soon.”
“You never watch television. What the hell has gotten into you?”
“I’ve decided to try new things.”
She remained silent for a moment. When she spoke again, her voice had softened. “I love that, babe.”
I inhaled deeply, letting the love I heard from her settle into my bones. “I love you, Monroe. I don’t tell you that often enough.”
“Oh, geez, you really are trying new things, aren’t you?”
I smiled. “That was where you were supposed to tell me that you love me, too.”
“Pffft, I tell you that all the time.” She spoke the truth. Monroe’s side of the family inherited the touchy-feely genes while mine didn’t.
“Yeah, well you can tell me again. I won’t hold it against you.”
“Fuck me, Tatum, this shrink you’re seeing is worth her weight in gold. And for the record, I love you, too.”
I stirred my drink. “Okay, now that’s out of the way, tell me how you’re going with your search for a pierced cock.”
“Ugh. Let’s not go there.”
Laughing, I said, “You know what we need?”
“What?”
“A girls’ night out. You can look for Mr. Pierced and I can look for Mr. Not Closed Off.”
She turned silent again.
When she didn’t speak, I said, “You still there, Roe?”
“Yeah,” she said softly, her voice cracking. “This is nice.”
“What?”
“Us, talking girls’ nights outs and men and dating. It’s been too long since we’ve done this.”
I knew what she was saying. Since I shut down on her and retreated from life. “Yeah, it’s nice.”
A knock on my front door interrupted us and I ended the call after promising that we would definitely have a night out soon.
The new lightness I felt was both strange and wonderful. I’d come home from the therapy session and cried for an hour and then slept for two. When I woke, it was as if the tears and the sleep were therapy in themselves. I woke with a desire to cook dinner and watch television. I couldn’t remember the last time I looked forward to such simple things.
I reached the front door and checked in the peephole to see who it was. My belly fluttered at the sight of Nitro standing on the other side. And in that moment, I knew the therapist was right. Again. I did know whether I wanted to see him again. The proof was in the way my body responded to him, the way my heart sped up when he was near.
I opened the door and smiled as our eyes met. “Nitro.”
Heat flared in his gaze. He couldn’t even hide it and I wasn’t sure he was trying to. The way he looked at me made me think he’d come here for something other than club business. “We need to talk.”
I moved aside. “Okay.”
He stepped inside and I followed him into the house. We’d almost made it to the kitchen when he suddenly turned to me, snaked his arm around my waist and pushed me up against the wall. Pressing his body hard to mine, his fingers worked their way into my hair and his mouth found mine.