“I’ve seen you when your club was at war. When you killed a man, when a bomb almost killed us, and when you came back from an ambush where you had to fight for your life and those of your fellow club members. War shows us who we are. It drags us to our deepest depths and reveals just what we would do to survive. Good and bad.” She gripped my face harder. “You showed me that you’re a fighter, and you’re loyal and that you put others before yourself. I might not know all the little ins and outs that make you, you, like what your favourite colour is or what your dreams are in life or what your favourite dinner is, but I know your character, and that’s something a lot of people don’t ever truly find out about the people in their lives.”
I stared at her. Fuck, she’d surprised me again. And shown me just how fucking deep and intelligent she was. Leaning forward, I held her close and moved us so she lay on the bed with me on top of her. Pressing my mouth to hers, I kissed her hard. Rough. I tore a moan from her lips. And when I finished, I rasped, “You’re something fucking else, you know that?”
She smiled up at me, her lips swollen from our kiss. “Only because you told me.”
That right there pissed me off. That no man had ever shown her how fucking amazing she was or made her believe in herself. I would make that shit my mission. I’d show Tatum what I saw when I looked at her, and I’d make her understand the truth in it.
32
Tatum
“Arms” by Christina Perri
Nitro moved behind me as I brushed my teeth after our shower together the next morning. Well, if you could call using my finger to spread toothpaste over my teeth. It was the first time I’d stayed at his house after we started sleeping together and it hadn’t been planned, so I had no clothes or toiletries. He’d offered me his toothbrush, but I was funny about germs. He’d then made fun of me for doing all sorts of things with my mouth, yet not wanting to share a toothbrush. I’d told him that if he wanted to keep making fun of me, I’d happily stop doing those things with my mouth, at which point he immediately stopped making fun of me.
Sliding his arm around me and slipping his hand inside the towel I wore to find skin, he said, “You want a clean shirt to wear home?” While he waited for my reply, he dropped his mouth to my shoulder and kissed me.
I watched him in the mirror, my belly fluttering with sensations that were unfamiliar to me. Everything in that moment sparked a surge of happiness in me. The way he held me, touched me, spoke to me, and the question he asked. Such a simple question, but one that showed me where his mind was at in our relationship. This feeling of closeness was something I didn’t want to admit to needing, because my failed attempt at it in the past made me unwilling to try for it again.
His eyes met mine in the mirror, and I smiled. “I want that black one with the skull on it.”
The skin around his eyes creased as a smile hit them. “Of course you do.”
I frowned, not sure what he meant.
His hand inside my towel grazed my breast as it swept across my stomach. “You love your skulls. Most of your clothes have one on them.”
The flutters in my belly whooshed deep in my core. He paid attention to my clothes? I turned to face him. “You’re a damn contradiction, Nitro. I swear I am constantly surprised by the things you say and do.”
“That makes two of us,” he said, his voice all husky.
We held each other. No talking, no caressing, just taking the other in, thinking. And then Dustin broke the moment.
“Nitro, we need milk! I thought you usually had some long life stuff in the cupboard, but I can’t find it,” he called out from the kitchen.
Nitro’s chest shook with a chuckle and he briefly dropped his forehead to mine. “Fucking hell.” Looking back at me, he muttered, “That would be because your favourite dinner includes porridge and he used it all. Fucking porridge with steak and nachos and shit.”
I smacked him lightly on the arm. “Don’t knock porridge for dinner, dude.”
His eyes twinkled with amusement and heat all at once. “Vegas, I have a new appreciation for porridge.”
“Nitro! Did you hear me?” Dustin yelled out.
Nitro let me go. With regret clear in his eyes. “You want a coffee?”
I nodded and tracked his movements as he left the bathroom. This was a good morning. And not just because I’d had hot sex with him. No, it had more to do with a feeling swirling around everything in this house and the people in it. A feeling I knew I could no longer deny loving.
* * *
I put my knife and fork down and looked at Duvall. He sat across from me in the new café I’d chosen for our lunch. I’d decided we needed a fresh start, and new surroundings felt fitting.
“I’ve started seeing Nitro,” I said, waiting for him to lose his shit at me.
He put his cutlery down, too. Leaning his elbows on the table, he said, “Okay.”
I frowned. “That’s it? No lecture?” I’d expected an argument over it. Especially since Nitro still hadn’t worked out how Duvall had seen that footage, which meant I hadn’t talked to him about it in order to clear up the fact it hadn’t been Nitro who beat me up that night.