A growl rolled up his throat, and he swallowed hard.
The wings of the owl on his throat flapped as he took a prowling step forward.
“Look at me, Eden,” he demanded. He grabbed my hand and pressed it to his face.
Fire flashed.
Streaked my arm.
The sharp contours searing into my being.
Into my flesh.
Branding me.
“Look at me, really look at me, and see me for what I am. A monster.”
Everything trembled.
My heart and my soul and my hands.
I shook my head and gulped around the knot that burned in my chest.
“No, Trent. I see my heart. I see my future. I see my life.”
He blanched as the admission spilled free, and the man angled back as if he’d been slapped.
“But I also see the man who is trying to ruin us.”
The shake of his head was grim. “We were ruined before we started.”
“No.”
“The things I’ve done—”
“Stop it, Trent, just stop it. I already know. I already know. And none of it matters. The only thing that matters is right now, and right now I’m looking at the man I love. I love you.”
My hands pressed to the thunder of my heart. “I’m in love with you. I love you in a way I didn’t know existed. In a way I didn’t know was possible for me to love someone. And I’m standing here, begging you to love me back because I don’t know how to go on like this.”
Shame flashed through his expression, though there was something underlying it that tried to break through.
Vying for space.
For voice.
Then rage came bounding in to take its place.
“And I told you I don’t get that. That I don’t have that to give you. I have one reason, one fucking reason to live, and you’ve distracted me from that. Made me lose sight.”
He slammed a ferocious fist against his chest. “Made me lose focus on what I’m supposed to be fighting for. I’m losing my mind over you, and because of that, I’ve gotten careless. Sloppy. And I can’t afford that when it comes to my son.”
His teeth ground. Or maybe it was just the sound of my heart being decimated.
Destroyed.
Just like he’d promised he would.
My nod was jerky, and I blinked through the tears that rushed to my eyes. I would not cry. I would not cry. Not right then.
Still, my lips quivered and twitched, and I backed away. “I guess I do see now.”
Then I turned and rushed for the exit.
“Eden!” he shouted behind me.
I didn’t slow.
I threw open the door and flew down the hall, ignoring the bashing I could hear behind me.
His violence spilling out again.
This dark, dangerous devil who’d stolen my heart and crushed it in nearly the same beat.
I didn’t take the time to change. I grabbed my purse and rushed to the side door where Milo stood guard.
Sympathy lined his expression when he saw my face, then I cried out in devastation posing as frustration when I realized I didn’t even have a car.
My entire life had gotten wrapped up in the man who didn’t want me.
Who thought I was a burden.
Who’d built the walls up so high that he couldn’t see what we could mean if he’d just slow down long enough to see his worth.
I fumbled to get into an app to call a ride, thanking God that at least a car was nearby. I jumped into the back as soon as the Prius pulled to the curb, trying to hold it together at least until I got home.
A minute later, a single headlight pulled up behind the car.
But that energy didn’t slam me.
Need didn’t consume me whole.
I choked over a cry, the tears slipping free when I came to the acceptance of what Trent really thought of me.
He let me go but sent his brother in his place.
Like a job that needed to be done.
Ten minutes later, the car stopped in front of my house, and I fumbled out onto my weakened knees.
Agony lashed.
Ripping at my insides.
I swore, standing there, I was bleeding out.
That single headlight eased up as the car drove away. Jud slowed, barely stopped, just looked at me with remorse. Like he wished he could make it right. Like he was the one who was giving me an apology.
My head shook. “You can tell Trent he doesn’t need to worry about me any longer. You don’t need to waste your time looking out for me.”
“Eden.” Sorrow filled Jud’s tone.
“Please, don’t make excuses for him. Just go.”
Worry pinched his face, and I turned and stumbled up my walkway. I felt like I was being haunted by everything Trent had said to me.
His need.
His confusion.
Promises that he’d never let go.
Mine.
Mine. Mine. Mine.
He’d claimed it again and again, but more than that, I’d felt it in his touch.
Felt it, even if Trent couldn’t.
And maybe that was the saddest part.