“Just like that. I go where I find work. Usually construction. I stay until I feel the need to leave. And I go.”
“Don’t you…don’t you get lonely?”
I met her gaze. “Getting lonely implies caring for someone. I don’t do that, Ava. I don’t get attached.”
“You’re attached to Cash.”
At the mention of his name, he rose to his feet and trotted over, leaning on my leg. I rubbed his head, and with a sigh, he shut his eyes, enjoying the attention.
“He’s the exception. I care for him because he was discarded. Much the way I was. Through no fault of his own, he was abandoned and left behind. We share that. So, I look after him. One day, he won’t be around, and I’ll be back on my own. And I’ll carry on.”
She stared at me, her eyes wide with disbelief. Seeing the pictures on the walls of her home, the little cluster of homes of the people she loved that surrounded her, I knew I had shocked her. She would be as adrift in my world as I would be in hers. Both were foreign concepts to the other. She was used to being surrounded by love and belonging. My life was a string of forgotten places and people.
“I don’t know what to say to that,” she admitted.
“Say nothing. I don’t expect you to understand. Any more than I can understand your world. But that’s okay. You’re here right now, and I want to enjoy that. What happens next week or next month will happen. Enjoy the moment with me, Little Dragon. Try it.”
She nodded and stood, taking her plate and lifting mine. She carried them to the kitchen and filled the sink with hot, soapy water. The evening sky darkened the window, the steam gathering on the glass. Her reflection was sad.
Oddly enough, it matched the way my own words made me feel.
* * *
After dinner, we wandered outside, watching as the last of the light faded. The air was cooler, the scent of outdoors fresh and clean. I had to admit, I liked it here. The way the house was situated, it felt as if you were alone in the world, tucked away from the craziness that existed outside the little bubble this piece of property offered. I slid another one of my favorite mixtapes into the boom box and, once again, took Ava in my arms. We danced under the dim moonlight, the stars slowly brightening in the night sky. We didn’t talk, letting our bodies feel the gentle rhythm of the music and nothing else. Cash lay on the porch, bored and indifferent to us, his tail thumping slowly on the old boards.
The breeze picked up, and Ava shivered. “We should go inside,” I murmured. “It’s getting chilly.”
Wordlessly, we entered the house. She curled into the old chair, and I sat on the sofa, Cash lying by my feet. Ava picked up her book, opening it but not really reading. I knew she was troubled by my earlier words. She couldn’t comprehend them. A world without family, without love, and a place called home didn’t sit well with her. I had to admit, I found her worry somewhat sweet. But I needed to break her train of thought.
“Not enjoying your book?” I asked.
“Oh, um, it’s good.” She rubbed her eyes. “When I get tired, I find it hard to concentrate.” She offered me a smile. “I always need the weekend to recharge.”
I had noticed yesterday she looked tired. She’d been brighter today, but I could see the exhaustion creeping back up. “You work too hard. You’re under a great deal of pressure all the time.”
She shrugged. “We all are. ABC is a busy place.”
“Do you have help? An assistant?”
“If I need help, I ask.”
I fought back my smile. “I bet you never ask.” I relaxed against the cushion. “When’s the last time you took a break?”
“I’m off every weekend.”
“A holiday,” I said patiently. “A long stretch of time away from the office and the responsibilities.”
She blinked. “I took a few long weekends last year.”
I snorted.
“What about you?” she asked.
“I took two months off and went up to Alaska. Me, Cash, a trailer, and the open road. No phone, no email, nothing.”
Her eyes widened. “Really?”
“Yes.”
“Was it wonderful?”
“It was great. I needed the break.”
“I couldn’t do that. I have too many responsibilities.”
“Maybe you need to reprioritize. Ask for help at the office so you can live your life as well as work. You can’t organize every minute of your life. You need to let some moments simply happen.”
She didn’t say anything. She looked small and sad. I didn’t like it.
I stood, extending my hand. “Come to bed with me, Ava.”
She hesitated.
“Bring your book. I’ll read to you.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I think you need to let me take the reins for a bit. I like reading out loud.” I waggled my fingers. “Come on.”