I was about to get fucked—and hard.
Yay, me.
Chapter 14
Hunter
I slipped away while Ava was sleeping, finding my way home easily in the dim light. I had stood beside her bed looking down at her, confused and torn, before letting myself out, making sure to lock the door behind me.
I had no idea why I returned to her every evening. Why, by the end of the day, I was filled with longing, the need to see her. To make sure she was okay. The first time, I had used the book as the excuse, certain once I had her again, the ache and need would go away.
It hadn’t. In fact, it had grown.
It was a shock to realize how much I enjoyed her company. Listening to her talk, hearing her laugh. I liked sharing a meal with her, hearing about her day. She asked questions about mine, seemingly as interested in my banal news as I was in her far more entertaining words. I wasn’t used to sharing. Or this endless craving I had to see her.
Every day, I swore I wouldn’t allow it to overtake my senses. Every day, I found myself at her door. In her bed.
I climbed the steps to the house, opening the door and letting Cash out. I went in and made a cup of instant coffee, thinking how horrified Ava would be over it. It was easier at times than making a pot, and unlike her, I didn’t have a fancy machine sitting on the counter.
I carried the cup outside and set it on the tailgate, watching Cash roll in the grass, stretching his legs out in the sun in contentment. He trotted over, getting some headbutts and attention, then he lay by my feet, gnawing on one of the treats I had gotten him at the pet store earlier in the week. He chewed and I sipped, both of us enjoying the quiet.
I thought about Ava’s past she’d confided in me last night. I shook my head in disbelief that a woman as beautiful and confident could be discounted by any man. I thought she was amazing. Strong, fearless, smart, funny, and gorgeous. How she managed to attract two losers who made her question her self-worth was beyond me. She needed someone equally as strong, someone who valued her strength and vitality. Who appreciated her quirks.
Another strange thought came into my head. She needed someone who would look after her. She hid a quiet vulnerability. She worked too hard and in a business that forced her to show only her tough side. She needed a place to be Ava. To be soft and peaceful. She needed to be held and read to. Brought dinner. Tucked into bed to get a good sleep.
Made love to regularly to let her know how incredibly sexy she was.
She needed someone like me.
I stood, shocked at the thought.
I wasn’t in the market. Soon enough, I would crave a new place, and the need to pack up and move on would overtake everything else. Even this insane desire for her. I was simply overreacting to the intimacy of last night. Hearing Ava’s words. Using my body to show her just how wrong those other men had been.
That was all.
Needing to move, I picked up Cash’s favorite stick and tossed it. For the next while, I concentrated only on him and the stick. Pitch and return. Farther. Farther away still. Watching him run, his tail wagging as he raced to find it, his head held up happy and proud as he returned it to me.
Inside my head were a barrage of unwelcome thoughts. Unbidden feelings about Ava. Slowly, I sorted them. I was reacting to my anger. That was all. I found Ava attractive, and I had been without feminine company for a while and was enjoying it. Simple. She was amazing in bed, and I liked exploring that with her. It was natural. The fact that I hadn’t been with anyone for a long time was what drove me to her nightly. Totally feasible. I would have to exercise more control about the daily visits, and once I found my balance again, we could see each other every few days. She was enjoying the relationship as well, so there was no need to end it.
Yet.
I simply had to stop giving in to these ridiculous cravings for her.
My shoulders slumped as I threw the stick one last time, this time almost sending it over the bluff. Cash grabbed it and came back, although his pace wasn’t as quick as it had been. I glanced at my watch, surprised to see I’d been tossing it for over an hour. I patted his head as he dropped the stick at my feet. “Come on, boy. I need a shower then I’m going to head into town and pick up a few supplies. I’ll work all afternoon, and the deck should mostly be done.”