Ross shifted in his seat beside me. “Depends on if I have a job next year.”
Lacey swooped in to the rescue. “Relax, guys. There’s no reason to worry about what’s happening after that. Let’s just enjoy the night.”
Chance shrugged. “Dude, we just fucking won the second game in the playoffs. You ain’t going anywhere.”
“We still have one more to go,” Ross said, taking a bite of blue crab crostini.
“We still have one more to go,” Chance mimicked in a small voice, teasing Ross and picking up his own crostini.
“Boys! Seriously?” Lacey interrupted. “You guys act like you play pee-wee football—or at least like you’re young enough to.”
I snorted and flashed Lacey a smile while Chance grabbed his chest in a mock attack.
“Oww! You’re breaking my heart, baby! I can feel it crackin’ in two right now.” We all burst out in laughter, but the question remained, what are our plans after the season?
When dinner was over, we all said our goodbyes outside on the street in front of the towering building. Central Park was a few blocks away, and I’d never been there at night—mostly because it wasn’t entirely safe, especially for a single female—so I convinced Ross that we could walk off our heavy meals before heading back to the hotel.
“That was nice,” I said, lacing my arm through his as we crossed the street.
“Yeah. Chance and Lacey are good people.”
I nodded. Something had changed halfway through the dinner. It reminded me of the sudden change from Christmas dinner at my parents’. I’d noticed that Ross seemed to have his mind set elsewhere for part of the meal. “Are you all right?” I asked him once we entered the park.
He glanced over at me and gave a quick nod. “Sure. You?”
“Mmhmm.”
We walked for a little while, observing the Christmas fairy lights in the trees. When the silence started to swallow us up again, I stopped walking. Ross stopped one step ahead, his arm still interlocked with mine, and looked back before turning to face me. “What’s wrong?”
“Something’s off. Why won’t you tell me what it is?”
Ross’s eyebrows raised, and I instantly regretted my demanding tone. I sucked in a deep breath and held up my hands. “I just mean, it seems like there’s something on your mind, and I don’t understand why you won’t tell me.”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Shelby. There are a lot of things going on inside my head these days.” He paused and ran a gloved hand through his thick hair. “I’ve played a grand total of two games now, and the stakes go up every day. It’s a lot to take in.”
I cocked my head. “Are you sure that’s it?”
His eyes locked on mine and the intensity in them startled me. “Yeah. What else would it be?”
“When you got to the restaurant, you were excited, grinning from ear to ear, and I saw some of the post-game stuff when I was back at the hotel getting changed. You were happy. What changed in the last couple of hours that took that away?”
Ross worked his jaw, and I shrank back, wondering if I’d gone too far, cursing my inability to ever let things go. My tenacious, never-give-up attitude was going to make sure I became one hell of a lawyer, but it also got me into trouble in my personal life. “Because the people who should be there to support me aren’t…” He paused and dragged in a ragged breath as though it were physically painful to breathe. “Because every step I take, every victory I achieve, it all has this ring of hollowness to it. It’s just another reminder that I did this on my own. Me. Alone.”
“But you’re not alone,” I whispered, taking a step toward him.
He swallowed hard. “You know the first thing the guys did once they got to the locker room? They called their family. Their wives, kids, moms, dads, or both. I mean, this is a big deal. We fucking won!” Ross broke away, his eyes wandering to a far corner of the park as though he couldn’t look at me any longer. “I don’t have that. My dad walked out on me when I was just a little guy, still in fucking diapers. My mom lost her damn mind and married the first dick who came along and had a job. He beats the fuck out of her and when I finally got old enough to fight back, they kicked me out. She’s still with that asshole. . After all those years trying to protect her, getting beat up by that fuckwad, she kicked me out.”
He shook his head, and I caught a glimmer of tears in his eyes. My heart broke into tiny pieces as Ross’s story unfolded. My lungs burned in the cold air, but I couldn’t take a breath.