Vic Vaughn is Vicious

“So he’s my dad?” Kids, man. They don’t know how to be subtle.

I look at Carla again. She gives me a nod with a shrug and a crooked smile. I interpret this to mean, If you didn’t sleep with anyone else, just make it easy on her and say yes.

So that’s what I do. “Yes, Viv. He’s your father.”

She sets her jaw at this revelation. Crosses her arms. Turns her head. “Why didn’t you tell me before?” And now she looks me in the eye.

“Because…” I sigh again. “Because…” God, this is hard to explain. Not really though. Not if I just pare this explanation down to the bone. “Because I was afraid that he wouldn’t want you. Or that he would want you, but not me. Or that he wouldn’t want either of us. And it was hard for me back then, Viv. I was… very young. So I probably made the wrong choice.”

“OK,” Carla says. “That’s enough questions for one night, Vivian. Your mother was worried sick about you today. You need to think hard about how you scared everyone.”

Vivian makes a pout. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. But I really did have a good time.”

“I’m glad.”

“So do I get my goldfish tomorrow?”

I nod. “Yep. I’m gonna drop you off at Vic’s tomorrow morning instead of the sitter’s.”

“Yay!” She is immediately excited.

“And then I’ll pick you back up when my finals are over.” I turn back around in my seat and nod to Carla. She starts her car and then we make the long drive back to town.

My stomach is fluttery and I’m a little bit shaky when we finally get dropped off in the parking lot of the family housing units on campus. “Thank you,” I tell Carla.

“Baby, it’s no problem. My kids grew up a long time ago. I miss having people depend on me. So it has been my pleasure to help.”

“I’ll see you at work.”

“Sure thing. And if you need anything, even if it’s just to talk, you call me, OK?”

“I will.”

I close the door, take Viv’s hand, and we make our way through the apartments to our unit. It’s a two-bedroom and I’m super lucky to have it because everyone wants one of these apartments and there’s a long waiting list. You can be late with your rent. They don’t care. As long as you have student loans coming in every semester, they just don’t care. Because the moment that money hits my student account, they take what I owe them first.

This is how I’ve been paying for the last nine months of life. I use my tips to buy day-to-day things and pay for the sitter and I use my loans to pay for everything else.

I’m going to be very in debt when I graduate, but that’s almost two years away. I can’t even think two days ahead, let alone two years. So I don’t even bother worrying about it.

And anyway, money doesn’t even make the top ten of things I’m stressing about tonight.

Vic.

I just don’t understand how I woke up this morning completely in control of my life and tonight I’m on the verge of a CPS investigation and Vicious Vaughn is now Vivi’s official father.

I open the door to our apartment and shoo Vivi in. “Get ready for a bath,” I tell her. “And then it’s right to bed.”

She likes her sleep, but no kid likes bedtime. Still, she doesn’t complain. In fact, she’s humming. And when I start the water for the bath, she doesn’t complain about that, either.

And one hour later, she’s in bed asleep and I’m just sitting on the couch feeling… lost.

CHAPTER NINE - VIC

I do not sleep.

I pick up the bike from Spencer and drive it home, then I just go right up to my room, go out onto my balcony, and look down onto Mountain Avenue, wondering how the fuck this day went so sideways.

It’s not even Vivian, either. I mean, yeah. The idea of me having a kid is a shocker. And if I hadn’t already spent the whole day thinking she was mine, in a way at least, then this would probably be the major issue rolling around in my head.

But I did spend the day with her and she’s fun. I like her. She likes me. This, whatever it is, is going to be—well, if not an easy transition, at the very least a manageable one.

It’s just that she comes with a mother.

And all day I thought her mother was Veronica. Someone I love unconditionally. Someone I would die for. But Daisy is a whole other story.

I can’t decide how I feel about seeing her again.

Because even though a few hours ago I hadn’t thought of Daisy in almost seven years, now I will never be able to get her out of my mind again.