And now he’s in my life and the only thing I can think about is… how unalike we are. How I am not the kind of girl he dates. I don’t wear black, I don’t have tattoos, I don’t draw any more, I don’t wear boots, I don’t ride bikes, and aside from a purse I got on sale, I do not own any leather.
So why am I surprised that our date was cancelled?
I get out of the truck, lock it up, and walk to my apartment. Alone.
Because for the first time in seven years I will not fall asleep in the same house as my daughter.
When I get inside, I call her. But Ronnie tells me all the girls crashed out about thirty minutes ago. “I’ll wake her up if you want,” she offers.
But I decline. “No. I’ll call her in the morning.”
Then I just crawl into bed without even changing, and force myself not to cry.
My final on Wednesday isn’t until eleven, but I am meeting the girls to study in the library again, so I get up early, get ready, and then head out the door.
I stop dead in my tracks when I see the old truck parked in the lot because I had completely forgotten about it.
I’m mad at Vic, so I briefly consider not taking it to school. But then, what the fuck, right? I fish the keys out of my purse, grab my phone while I’m at it, and then get in the truck and start it up. Then I press Vivi’s contact on her phone. She answers first ring, and I’m so relieved that it’s her, and not anyone else, I let out a sigh.
Vivi says, “I miss you too.”
“How did you know what I was thinking?”
“Because did you know that we’ve never spent the night away from each other before?”
“I did know that. I was thinking about it all last night.”
“Me too.”
“Are you ready to come home?”
“Mmmm.” She hesitates. So obviously, her answer is no.
“You don’t have to.”
“They invited me to stay until the weekend. There’s gonna be a pool party on Sunday. Can I stay until Sunday?”
I die inside. That’s four days away. “Yep.” I force this word out. “Sure. I would not want you to miss the pool party.”
“You can come too! Vic has that day off.”
Even though I already told Ronnie I would come, I don’t think it’s gonna happen. So I say, “I have to work. That’s my Sunday and—”
“I know. I know. You make more money on that one day…” She doesn’t finish. She doesn’t have to. We do this every single Sunday. And it’s not even Sunday. It’s only Wednesday.
I don’t understand how that’s even possible. I mean, four days ago she didn’t even know who Vic Vaughn was. Now he’s her father and she’s practically living with his sister.
“Mom?”
“Yep. I’m here.”
“OK. Then you have a good day at school.”
I laugh. “You have a good day on the farm.”
“I will. Love you.”
“Love you—” But the call drops before I can finish.
I drive to school, park as close to the math building as I can, then walk over to the library to meet the girls.
Vic calls. But I don’t pick up.
Vic texts. But I do not answer him.
He’s just too much for me. I need to face that fact. He’s too much and I will never be enough, and this needs to stop before it even starts. Because he’s running on guilt and personal responsibility right now. And I’m running on fear.
This is not the sign of a budding relationship. It’s the hallmark of an impending romantic disaster. And I’m really not up for that kind of drama, so… I’m done with him.
I find the girls upstairs on the second floor of the library and plop my backpack down on the table.
Ella is in the middle of gulping down coffee, so she just waves. Rina is mumbling chemical equations under her breath and doesn’t even look up. So Luu is the only one who actually greets me.
“Oh, my God,” she says. “I saw you.”
“Saw me where?”
“Riding in a truck with a man who looked like Vic Vaughn…”
“Holy shit!” Ella squeals. “Are you two together?”
I put up a hand. “No. Definitely not. We were just riding home from his sister’s house.”
“Whoa,” Rina says. “Hold up. You were at Spencer Shrike’s house?”
“It’s his wife’s house too, and she’s Vic’s sister.”
“Wow.” Ella sighs. “You’ve got all the connections now.”
“Oh, my God.” Rina snorts. “Have you seen Vann in his underwear yet?”
“What?” I make a face. “No. I’ve only had dinner over there once.”
“Holy shit,” Luu says. “You’ve been gone two days and so far you’ve been up to Spencer’s house and you had dinner with them? Girl, I hear wedding bells.”
I actually guffaw. “Ladies. I understand that you’re still very young and naïve.” They groan. “But here’s a lesson in love for you. Do not ever think that because you have made a baby with a man that he is the man for you. OK? It doesn’t work that way. And Vic Vaughn is not the man for me.”