Burning for Love (Kindred Tales)

“Yes, I can!” Rissa protested. “I can because…because I still love you, James! I shall always love you,” she continued in a whisper. She waited, her heart pounding, to hear him say it back.

But he only shook his head.

“You are allowing illogical emotions to overcome your better judgment.”

“I don’t care about any of that! James, did you hear me? I said, I love you!” Rissa exclaimed. She reached up and tried to pull him down for a kiss, as she had after the duel, but the big Kindred was solid as a rock and he refused to lower his mouth to hers. “James, kiss me!” she demanded desperately. “Tell me that you love me too, as you did only a week ago!”

“I am afraid your emotion is one I cannot share or reciprocate.” He spoke woodenly—no, robotically, Rissa thought, feeling sick. He hadn’t sounded so stilted—so unemotional—since he first came to Court to be her guard.

“But I thought—” she began.

“I am deeply sorry if I gave you an incorrect impression,” he went on relentlessly. “But as you know, I have no emotions and so I cannot return your sentiments.”

“But you said you loved me!” Rissa cried again. “You said it, James, and I know you felt it, too—I could feel it in the kiss we shared!”

He shook his head.

“My emotion damper was temporarily malfunctioning. Please accept my apologies.”

“I do not want your apologies!” Rissa exclaimed, reaching for him again. “I want your love, James! If you could only see—”

“I see that you finally have an acceptable suitor who is your own age and who seems to be an honorable male with Royal blood,” he interrupted her. Gently, he took her hands away from his shoulders and put them down by her sides. “Princess,” he said. “You must go on with your life and forget about me. I was only sent here to guard you for a short time. After your wedding tomorrow morning, I must go home. And then you and I will probably never see each other again.”

Rissa felt as though her heart was breaking into a million pieces.

“Never again?” she whispered. “Do I really mean so little to you, James?”

For a moment he hesitated, and she thought she saw a look of misery on his face. But then it passed, so quickly she wasn’t even sure she’d seen it in the first place, and his features became as impassive as stone again.

“Forgive me,” he said formally. “But I believe it is time for us to part.” He bowed low to her. “My best wishes for your health and happiness, Your Majesty,” he murmured.

Then he straightened up and turned away, leaving Rissa with tears in her eyes and a pain so big inside her, it felt like it was tearing her apart.

46

James had never known physical pain like the emotional agony he was experiencing now. Pretending that he had no feelings for Ka’rissa when, in fact, he was burning with love for her, had been incredibly difficult. And though he told himself over and over that this was for the best—that she needed to be with a male who was of her own race and who had Royal blood, he still couldn’t forget the tears of pain and betrayal in her lovely eyes as he had turned away from her.

Also, despite his firm conviction that he was doing the right thing—not just for Ka’rissa but for the whole of Regalia Five and for his own people as well—James still had that nagging guilt feeling that he had done something dreadfully wrong.

You never should have allowed yourself to fall in love with her in the first place, he told himself sternly. That’s what you did wrong. Never should have gone on this mission when you knew your emotion damper was malfunctioning.

But he had done those things and now he had to live with the consequences. His deepest regret was that he had hurt not only himself, but Ka’rissa as well. He wished desperately that he could take back his actions of the past solar month, but that was, of course, impossible.

The only thing he could do now was to witness the wedding ceremony tomorrow morning and then leave the planet as quickly as possible. Then, once he was back aboard the Mother Ship, he could get his emotion damper fixed and try to forget about Ka’rissa.

He only hoped that in time, she could forget about him as well.

47

The wedding passed in a blur.

Rissa had read many a romantic novel in which the heroine is just about to wed the wrong man and then the dashing hero bursts in at the last moment to stop the wedding and rescue her so that they can ride off together and spend their lives together. Deep down inside, she kept hoping secretly that the very same thing might happen to her.