I’m scared.
I don’t know what to say to him and I have no idea what he’s about to say to me.
But to make things worse, the tiny hint of hope I’ve held on to that maybe he didn’t go off the wall, that maybe he simply went for a run to gather his thoughts, suddenly seems like an utterly naïve thought.
This is Tobias I’m talking about, and he’s anything, if not direct.
God, he deserves the same respect.
So, I drag in as much air as my starving lungs will allow and pull the door open.
His eyes are on his feet, and when he does look, his focus moves over my shoulder.
He can’t even look at me.
Stepping back, he follows, quietly closing the door behind him and then we’re in the living room.
I bite at my lip as he pulls his bottom one between his teeth, squinting out at the back patio.
“Is it true ...” His voice is hesitant.
“Tobias—”
“Is it true, Meyer?”
“Please tell me you didn’t go to him.”
That gets his attention, and he snaps his head my way, his brows nearly touching in the center. “Of course, I did.”
“Oh my god.” My hands cup my mouth, tears springing in my eyes as I lower myself onto the bed.
Tobias darts toward me. “I told him I don’t fucking care. About any of it. I just want you. Both of you.”
“You don’t understand.” The tears fall.
“What, that you lied to me?”
My head jerks up, the pain in his gaze mirroring my own. “I didn’t.”
“A lie by omission is the same thing, Tutor Girl,” he rasps, dropping to his knees before me. He grabs my hand in his.
I close my eyes, a soft smile covering my lips. God, how selfish can I be?
I’m sitting here so focused on my own life that’s about to tumble all around me when he had a bomb dropped on him this morning.
This is a lot for him, too.
My eyes open to find him waiting, with a look of tenderness that makes me want to cry for an entirely different reason.
“Tobias.” I cup his cheek and my heart wrenches when he leans into my palm, his lips grazing my wrist. “This is why I refused to tutor you in the beginning, or ... tried to refuse.”
“Why, baby?” His lips graze my wrist, his tired eyes locked on mine.
“Because as much as I pretended otherwise, I knew where it would lead. I knew what being around you meant for me ... which is why I was kind of hoping, but also not, that you’d be a jerk.”
His chuckle is low, kind of sad, and I feel the ache deep in my bones.
“I didn’t want to cause problems for you or get us into a spotlight we couldn’t get out of, that he’d see, and have it hurt us both in the end.”
“I deserved to know,” he says simply.
“Yeah,” I whisper. “You did, but you love him, and I didn’t want to be the reason you looked at him differently.”
“But this wasn’t about him, Meyer.” He frowns, his tone soft but firm. “This is my life and I never should have missed any part of hers. I love her, like I imagine a father loves a daughter and I didn’t even know she was mine.”
My vocal cords shrivel, my throat running dry. “What?”
He pushes to his feet, lowering onto the edge of the mattress beside me. “I mean it. I do.”
I shoot to my feet, shaking my head. “What are you trying to say to me right now?”
He flies to his feet, anger making its way into his eyes. “I’m saying I love my daughter and I want to be here for her. That I will be here for her.”
“Holy shit,” I croak, on the verge of hyperventilating.
“I told your dad he can’t stop this. He can’t stand in our way.”
My hand comes up to my mouth, tears spring and threaten to drown me. “Oh, my god ... Tobias.”
He comes to me, gripping my face with a rough tenderness, desperation drowning out the blue of his eyes.
“Tobias—”
“I know what he held over your head. He told me about the tuition, about us. I’m pissed, yeah, maybe more than pissed, but ... but it’s okay. I’m willing to forget everything if it means having you.”
Defeat engulfs me, the ache in my chest doubling as I stare at the man in front of me.
I lift my hands, laying them over his, and gently remove his palms from my face. “You have it all wrong.”
I back away, and he reaches for me, but I shake my head, turning to pull a file from the drawer.
Handing it over to him, I watch as his eyes are drawn to the header of the very first page, a muddled expression casting a shadow over his handsome face.
“Custody ... I don’t ...” He shakes his head.