With a shake of my head, I turn for the door, but his words have me pausing.
“I don’t hate you, Meyer,” he says to my back. “You know that, right?”
Glancing over my shoulder, I meet his blue gaze. “I wish you did. You know that ... right?”
I don’t wait for a response.
I walk away.
I expect a freeing feeling to follow, to sweep over me and lift my shoulders high, to ease the tension in my muscles and clear the haze in my mind.
But none of those things happen.
In fact, I feel heavier, weaker, but it has nothing to do with leaving that man behind, and everything to do with the one staring at me through the travel bus window straight ahead.
His head falls against the seat, and I feel the weight of it in my chest.
His lips tip up on one side the slightest bit as if he’s saying it’s okay, Tutor Girl. Go.
Among so many other things.
He’s letting me know he’s okay, that he understands.
He’s showing me he’s keeping his promise, that he’s here, pushing through the way I asked him to. The way he has to.
Tears pool in my eyes, and I force my own smile.
I’m so proud of you, Tobias.
As if he can hear me, his features twist, but he nods and when I nod back, he closes his beautifully broken eyes.
A cry slips from me, but I do as he needs, as we both need.
I rush away as quickly as I can so he doesn’t have to see it.
It’s the hardest, longest walk I’ve ever taken.
Goodbye, my hotshot.
CHAPTER 34
Meyer
I’m lost in thought, staring across the room when Bianca steps up beside me.
“You okay?” Bianca asks.
I nod, a bittersweet feeling washing over me as I glance around the small space I’ve called home for the last year and a half.
“Just trying to figure out how I can hate a place I love so much.” I look to her. “This is the only home Bay has ever known, where I brought her the day we were released from the hospital. It’s where she said her first word. Rolled over and pulled herself up.”
“It’s where you fell in love ...” she adds.
My throat burns.
Where my heart broke at my own hand.
It’s been almost a month now since Tobias and I have spoken, and it’s passed in slow, torturous minutes.
Almost a month since I quit the tutoring center and put in my thirty-day notice on this place.
Almost a month and nothing feels easier yet, and I don’t have much faith it ever will, but maybe one day.
Maybe in time ...
I swallow.
Over and over again, I tried to push everything out of my head, but I needed to know he was okay, and that he was doing what he promised by being the badass he is.
The man knocked his finals out of the park, scoring above a ninety on every single exam, and then came the big games.
I watched every one that was broadcasted, read every article that the school posted, and just this week, while I was packing up my living room, I sat on my bed, Bailey on my lap, witnessing him throw a curveball that secured the Avix Sharks the number one spot in the NCAA World Series Championship game.
He was an Ace, on and off the field.
I cried, proud of him, and I tried to sit through the interview that followed, but I couldn’t make it past the first few questions. That’s the day I unplugged the TV and disconnected the internet.
Thomas hasn’t spoken a word to me in weeks either, not that I want him to, and while it comes as no surprise, it’s still somehow mindboggling that a man could be told his daughter was being moved across country and not so much as bat a lash.
But then again, he was never much of a man and he never claimed her as his own.
“Whatcha thinking?” Bianca prompts.
“How I hate to leave this place, but I really can’t wait to go.” My eyes glide to Bianca’s, my lips twitching. “Does that make any sense?”
“Yeah, chica. It does,” she whispers.
The movers Bianca’s grandfather hired for me step out of what has always been Bailey’s bedroom.
“Careful.” I jerk forward, but Bianca pulls me back.
“Let them do their job.” She shakes me gently.
“Yeah.” My shoulders fall, and I take one last look around.
Most of the stuff in here came with the place, but the few things that are mine, I want moved in one piece. The last thing I need is a new expense because these guys don’t know how to go easy on a crib.
“I can’t believe you won’t be here with me next year,” Bianca says, and when I look to her, she laughs off her tears, tugging me into a hug. “I’m going to miss you and Bay.”