After we ate, Felicity looked out into the distance, and I stared at her profile, stopping myself from counting the freckles. Old habits die hard.
When she turned to me, I lowered my eyes to the table so as not to get caught.
“Even though things didn’t work out the way I’d hoped, I want you to know I’m proud of you, Leo. You’re doing everything you set out to, everything you promised your father you would. I’m sure he’s very proud, too.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that. But now tell me what you really feel.”
“What do you mean?” She blinked. “I meant every word.”
“I know you meant what you said about me. But I want to know what’s going on in your mind right now—about us, this situation—even if it pains me to hear it.”
“What I’m thinking or feeling when it comes to us doesn’t matter anymore.”
“It matters to me. I want to hear it, even if it hurts. We need to let it out.”
Felicity’s cheeks turned pink. “What do you want me to say? You want to hear that I’m in love with a married man? Because that’s not really a good look.” Her eyes glistened. “You want to know how I feel? I’m…angry. I’m confused. I’m frustrated. I’m scared. I’m jealous. I’m a mess.” She wiped a tear from her eyes. “At the same time, I’m still so grateful for this moment, even if it won’t last forever. Because it’s one more moment in time with you than I was supposed to have.”
My heart felt heavy. Her words mirrored my own feelings. I wanted to say so much, but my fear of seeming disrespectful to my wife paralyzed me. I was a married man, which gave me no right to open my heart to someone else, even if I wanted so desperately to tell her she wasn’t alone.
Just when the words at the tip of my tongue were ready to choke me, she changed the subject.
“Will you tell me what happened to Sig?”
I nodded and exhaled, gearing myself up. There was no good way to tell this story, so I just dove in. “He fell in love.”
* * *
Felicity
Track 22: “Tears Dry On Their Own” by Amy Winehouse
My eyes widened. “He fell in love? Sigmund? Of Sigmund and the Marias fame? That Sigmund?”
“Hard to believe, I know.” Leo flashed a gorgeous smile that hurt to look at.
“What happened?”
“He decided to take a trip to the States again. He’d connected with some woman online and flew out to New York for a week.”
“He ended up falling in love with her?”
“Hardly. That woman was only out for a good time, as was he. He got bored with her quickly enough.”
I blinked. “So, then…who did he fall in love with?”
Leo settled into his seat. “He was delayed at the airport on the way home. While there, he started bickering with this girl who was waiting for the same flight as him. They were the last two people to check in. The airline had overbooked the flight and was short one seat. Neither of them wanted to give up theirs.”
I laughed as he continued.
“Finally, some poor bloke intercepted and agreed to take a later plane so neither one of them had to move their flight. But Sigmund and Britney kept bickering. He teased her about everything from her height to the Birkenstocks on her feet. She was tiny—only about five feet. So he picked her apart, chewed her up, and spit her out. You know Sigmund.”
I shook my head. “Oh, yes, I do.”
“Well, she dished it back to him even harder—like no woman he’d ever met before. She called him every name in the book: giraffe, player, imbecile…” He laughed. “She was younger—twenty-five to his thirty-two. Anyway, the flight got delayed. Somehow, they ended up wandering the airport together. He realized she sparked something in him that he’d never experienced before. She called him out on his crap, challenging every word that came out of his mouth. Sigmund was so taken by her. The longer they were stuck in that airport together, the more attracted to her he became. As he put it, he’d never been harder for a woman in his life. Ironically, for once I think that had nothing to do with looks, although he did find her quite attractive.”
I was on the edge of my seat now. “Did they end up flying to England together?”
He nodded. “Once they boarded the plane, they were able to switch seats so they could sit next to each other. They talked the entire flight. You know how my cousin can be. He’s not very good at opening up about his insecurities—always dodging questions whenever you ask him about his career path and whatnot. She apparently had a way of seeing through his tactics. She got him to talk to her.”