“That’s why you’re working for free as my watchdog.” I smiled.
Sig swirled his glass. “I finally understand why my cousin couldn’t get over you, no matter how many times I gave him crap about it. It’s not something you understand fully until it happens to you.”
“So then you can also understand why this is so hard for me...being here.”
“You’re a better person than me, Ginger…for sticking around.”
“I don’t want to. I’m doing it because he asked me to, but after today, I don’t think I can do it anymore.” My voice trembled. “I can’t say goodbye to him again. Because I know this time, it will be forever. There was always a glimmer of hope before, that somehow we might find our way back to each other. But I know when he lets me go this time, that’s it.”
“What are you telling me?”
“I’m saying I need to go home. I don’t want to feel this hurt anymore.”
Sig blew out a long breath. “Felicity, if you want to leave, you know I’m not going to stop you, right? He’ll just have to understand. And he will. Because he loves you. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that. He knows you’re in pain. He just can’t be the one to tell you to go.”
I wiped my eyes for what felt like the hundredth time today. “Will you drive me to the airport?”
“You’re trying to get me killed, aren’t you?”
Looking down at the table, I shook my head. “You’re right. That was too much to ask.”
“Ginger, I’m kidding. Of course, I’ll take you.”
Relieved to have his support, I nodded. “I haven’t decided yet. I need to think on this tonight.”
The thought of leaving made me sick to my stomach, but not nearly as much as the thought of staying. It wasn’t like Leo was going to leave his wife for me. This wasn’t going to end well, and there was no reason to prolong it.
Later that evening, Sig ran to the grocery store before it closed, and Lavinia was still out, so I was alone for the first time today. After much ruminating, I was pretty sure I’d made my decision to book a flight for the morning. I’d just opened my laptop to reserve my ticket when the doorbell rang.
I knew Lavinia had given Sig a key, so the only person it could have been was Leo. Butterflies swarmed in my stomach as I went to the door. Except when I opened it, it wasn’t Leo.
It was Darcie.
* * *
Leo
Track 23: “American Girl” by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
After leaving Felicity, I couldn’t in good conscience face Darcie yet. There were too many feelings bombarding me, and I knew the moment she looked at me she’d be able to see them all. I needed to calm down before going home. So I called my wife to let her know I’d dropped Felicity and Sigmund off, but that I was going to visit my grandmother on the way home. Nan was in an upscale rehabilitation center, and we’d been told she didn’t have very much time left. I visited her often, and every time was different in terms of her condition. Today I prayed she would have enough energy to talk to me, because I needed that more than ever.
My grandmother looked half-asleep when I entered her room.
“Hello, Nan.”
Opening her eyes, she held out her quivering hand. “Hi, my boy.” Her voice was frail.
“How are you feeling?”
“Well, I’ve certainly had better days, but this is not the worst one.”
“Good.” I smiled. “I need to speak to you, but I don’t want to deplete your energy.”
“Nothing makes me feel more alive than talking to you, my grandson. I might be weak, but my ears are still perfectly fine.”
I took a seat at her bedside. “Has my mother told you anything over the past couple of days?”
“No, I haven’t spoken to her.”
I was surprised, but perhaps my mother knew she wouldn’t have been able to address it without upsetting her. In Nan’s current state, that wouldn’t be wise. I was proud of Mum for containing herself in her mother’s best interest.
“Remember Felicity?”
My grandmother’s eyes widened. “Of course. The American girl. What about her?”
“She’s here.”
Nan squeezed my hand. “Oh my.”
I filled her in on the last couple of days. While Nan knew I’d gone back to the States after that first year to find Felicity, I’d never told her about the letter I wrote before marrying Darcie. So I started there and ended with Felicity showing up here.
My grandmother seemed deeply affected, to the point that I almost regretted telling her. She couldn’t afford to get too emotionally worked up.
“That’s absolutely devastating, Leo. For all involved.”
“I know. I obviously never saw this happening.”
Nan struggled to breathe. “My love, you know I don’t have much time left. So I’m particularly careful with anything I tell you, because I never know if it will be my final word.” She tried to straighten her body. “I need you to listen to me very carefully.” She stared into my eyes. “I was wrong.”