Sideways Stories from Wayside School (Wayside School 1)

There was also no Miss Zarves. Miss Zarves taught the class on the nineteenth story. Since there was no nineteenth story, there was no Miss Zarves.

And besides that, as if Calvin didn’t have enough problems, there was no note. Mrs. Jewls had never given Calvin the note.

“Boy, this is just great,” thought Calvin. “Just great! I’m supposed to take a note that I don’t have to a teacher who doesn’t exist, and who teaches on a story that was never built.”

He didn’t know what to do. He walked down to the eighteenth story, then back up to the twentieth, then back down to the eighteenth, and back up again to the twentieth. There was no nineteenth story. There never was a nineteenth story. And there never will be a nineteenth story.

Calvin walked down to the administration office. He decided to put the note in Miss Zarves’s mailbox. But there wasn’t one of those, either. That didn’t bother Calvin too much, however, since he didn’t have a note.

He looked out the window and saw Louis, the yard teacher, shooting baskets. “Louis will know what to do,” he thought. Calvin went outside.

“Hey, Louis,” Calvin called.

“Hi, Calvin,” said Louis. He tossed him the basketball. Calvin dribbled up and took a shot. He missed. Louis tipped it in.

“Do you want to play a game?” Louis asked.

“I don’t have time,” said Calvin. “I have to deliver a note to Miss Zarves up on the nineteenth story.”

“Then what are you doing all the way down here?” Louis asked.

“There is no nineteenth story,” said Calvin.

“Then where is Miss Zarves?” asked Louis.

“There is no Miss Zarves,” said Calvin.

“What are you going to do with the note?” asked Louis.

“There is no note,” said Calvin.

“I understand,” said Louis.

“That’s good,” said Calvin, “because I sure don’t.”

“It’s very simple,” said Louis. “You are not s

upposed to take no notes to no teachers. You already haven’t done it.”

Calvin still didn’t understand. “I’ll just have to tell Mrs. Jewels that I couldn’t deliver the note,” he said.

“That’s good,” said Louis. “The truth is always best. Besides, I don’t think I understand what I said, either.”

Calvin walked back up the thirty flights of stairs to Mrs. Jewls’s class.

“Thank you very much, Calvin,” said Mrs. Jewls.

Calvin said, “But I – ”

Mrs. Jewls interrupted him. “That was a very important note, and I’m glad I was able to count on you.”

“Yes, but you see – ” said Calvin.

“You delivered the note to Miss Zarves on the nineteenth story?” asked Jason. “How did you do it?”

“What do you mean, how did he do it?” asked Mrs. Jewls. “He gave Miss Zarves the note. Some people, Jason, are responsible.”

“But you see, Mrs. Jewls – ” said Calvin.