Sideways Stories from Wayside School (Wayside School 1)

“Well?” said Mrs. Jewls.

Maurecia took another lick.

“Well?” asked the class.

“This ice cream has no taste,” said Maurecia. “It doesn’t taste bad, but it doesn’t taste good. It doesn’t taste like anything at all!”

Mrs. Jewls was heartbroken.

“Here, let me try it,” said Todd. He tasted it. “You’re crazy, Maurecia!” he said. “This is the best-tasting ice cream I’ve ever eaten! Try some, Deedee.”

“Ummmmmmmmm, it’s delicious,” said Deedee. “It’s so sweet and creamy.” She passed it around the room.

“Oh, it is so good,” said Leslie.

“I think it tastes terrible,” said Kathy.

“I don’t understand it,” said Maurecia. “I don’t taste a thing.”

Mrs. Jewls slapped herself in the face. “Oh, I’ve made a big mistake, Maurecia. Of course you can’t taste anything. It’s Maurecia-flavored ice cream. It’s the same taste you always taste when you’re not tasting anything at all.”

So the next day Mrs. Jewls brought in Joe-flavored ice cream. Maurecia liked it. So did everybody else. Joe thought it had no taste.

Everybody liked Maurecia. Maurecia only liked Joe.

The following day Mrs. Jewls brought in Ron-flavored ice cream. Ron thought it had no taste, but everybody else loved it.

Everybody liked Maurecia. Maurecia only liked Joe and Ron.

By the end of the month, Mrs. Jewls had brought in twenty-seven new flavors of ice cream, one for each member of the class.

Everybody liked Maurecia, and Maurecia liked everybody. They all tasted so good. All except Kathy, that is. Kathy-flavored ice cream tasted a little bit like old bologna.

Everyone still agreed that Maurecia-flavored ice cream was the best, except Maurecia. She liked Todd ice cream the best.

This turned out to be a problem. Every once in a while Maurecia would try to take a bite out of Todd’s arm in order to get that very special flavor.

? Sideways Stories from Wayside School ?

10

Paul

Paul had the best seat in Mrs. Jewls’s class. He sat in the back of the room. It was the seat that was the farthest away from Mrs. Jewls.

Mrs. Jewls was teaching the class about fractions. She drew a picture of a pie on the blackboard. She cut the pie into eight pieces. She explained that each piece was one-eighth of the pie.

Paul never paid attention. He didn’t see the picture of the pie. He didn’t see anything.

Well, he did see one thing.

Actually, he saw two things.

He saw Leslie’s two pigtails.

Leslie sat in front of Paul. She had two long, brown pigtails that reached all the way down to her waist.

Paul saw those pigtails, and a terrible urge came over him. He wanted to pull a pigtail. He wanted to wrap his fist around it, feel the hair between his fingers, and just yank.