Rondi had had enough. She covered her head so nobody could see her hat. She put her feet under her desk so nobody could see her boots. Then she closed her mouth tightly so nobody could see her two front teeth.
Suddenly, everybody who was sitting near her began to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” asked Todd.
“The joke Rondi didn’t tell,” said Jason.
“Ask Rondi not to tell it again, Todd,” said Calvin.
“Rondi,” said Todd, “don’t tell it again.”
Rondi was horrified. She didn’t know what to do. She kept her mouth shut and just stared at Todd. To her amazement, Todd laughed.
“Hey, everybody,” called Todd. “Listen to Rondi’s joke.”
Rondi didn’t say a word, but the rest of the class began to laugh.
Mrs. Jewls got very angry. She wrote Rondi’s name on the blackboard under the word DISCIPLINE.
“The classroom is not the place for jokes,” she said.
“But, Mrs. Jewls,” said Rondi. “I didn’t tell a joke.”
“Yes, I know,” said Mrs. Jewls, “but the funniest jokes are the ones that remain untold.”
“Okay, okay,” said Rondi. “If that’s what you want, then that’s what you’ll get. I’ll really tell a joke. That way I won’t disturb the class. And tomorrow I’ll wear boots and a hat. Of course, you won’t like them as much as the ones I didn’t wear today. But I better hurry up and tell my joke before you all start to laugh.
“There was a monkey sitting in a banana tree. He was very hungry. He knew that somewhere in the tree there was a magic banana, and that once he ate that banana, he wouldn’t be hungry anymore. He ate one banana. That wasn’t it. He was still hungry. He ate another banana. That one wasn’t it, either. He was still hungry. Finally, after he ate his tenth banana, he wasn’t hungry anymore. ‘I knew I’d find it,’
he said. ‘It’s too bad I didn’t eat that one first. I wouldn’t have had to waste all those other bananas.’ ”
Nobody laughed. Nobody had even listened to Rondi. Mrs. Jewls was busy teaching arithmetic, and everybody else was paying strict attention.
Rondi slapped herself in the face to make sure she was really there. She was.
The bell rang for recess. Rondi ran outside. She was very upset.
Louis, the yard teacher, saw her. “Why the frown, Rondi?” he asked. “Come on, smile. Let me see your cute front teeth.”
Rondi screamed. She socked Louis in the stomach, then bit his arm with her missing teeth. And that kind of bite hurts the worst.
? Sideways Stories from Wayside School ?
14
Sammy
It was a horrible, stinky, rainy day. Some rainy days are fun and exciting, but not this one. This one stunk. All the children were wet and wore smelly raincoats. The whole room smelled awful.
“Ooooh, it stinks in here,” said Maurecia.
Everybody laughed. But she was right.
There was one good thing, however. There was a new boy in class. New kids are always fun. Except no one could even tell what the new boy looked like. He was completely covered by his raincoat.
“Class,” said Mrs. Jewls. “I’d like you all to meet Sammy. Let us show him what a nice class we can be.”
Leslie walked up and smiled at Sammy. But her smile quickly turned into a frown. “You smell terrible,” she said.