Sideways Stories from Wayside School (Wayside School 1)

23

Allison

Allison had pretty blonde hair and always wore a sky-blue windbreaker. Her windbreaker was the same color as her eyes. She was best friends with Rondi. Rondi had blonde hair, too, but she was missing her two front teeth. Allison had all of her teeth.

Allison used to say that she knocked Rondi’s teeth out. Allison was very pretty, so all the boys in Mrs. Jewls’s class teased her, especially Jason. But Allison said, “Leave me alone or I’ll knock your teeth out – like I did Rondi’s.” The boys didn’t bother her after that.

One day Allison brought a tangerine for lunch. She took the peel off in one piece.

Miss Mush, the lunch teacher, walked up to her. “Allison, may I have your tangerine?” she asked.

Miss Mush always gave food to the children. So Allison was happy to give her tangerine to Miss Mush.

Miss Mush shoved it in her mouth and swallowed it in less than four seconds.

Allison left the lunchroom and walked down to the library. The lunchroom was on the fifteenth story. The library was on the seventh. Allison already had her book. She just went to the library because it was nice and quiet there.

The librarian walked up to Allison. “What are you reading?” she asked.

Allison told her the name of the book.

“That sounds like a good book,” said the librarian. “J never read that one. May I borrow it?”

The librarian always lent books to the children. Allison was glad to be able to return the favor. She gave the librarian the book, then walked down the stairs, outside to the playground.

All of Allison’s friends were playing freeze tag. Allison didn’t feel like playing. She reached into the pocket of her sky-blue windbreaker and took out a tennis ball. She bounced it a couple of times on the ground.

Louis came up to her. “Hi, Allison,” he said. “May I play with your tennis ball?”

Louis always gave balls to the children. Allison happily gave her ball to Louis.

Louis threw the ball all the way to the other side of the playground. Then he went chasing after it.

Allison didn’t feel like doing anything. Jason ran up and tagged her.

“You’re frozen,” he said.

“Get out of here before I knock y

our teeth out,” said Allison.

Jason shrugged his shoulders and left.

Allison went back inside and up the thirty flights of stairs to Mrs. Jewls’s room. The lunch period wasn’t over yet, but Allison didn’t feel like doing anything else. She had given her food to the lunch teacher, her book to the librarian, and her ball to the yard teacher. She went inside her classroom.

Mrs. Jewls was there. “Oh, Allison, I’m glad you’re here,” said Mrs. Jewls. “I’m having trouble with an arithmetic problem. Maybe you can help.”

“Sure,” said Allison. Mrs. Jewls always helped the children with their problems. Allison was happy to help.

“How do you spell chair?” asked Mrs. Jewls.

“C-H-A-I-R,” said Allison.

“Yes, that’s right,” said Mrs. Jewls. “I knew it wasn’t C-H-A-R-E, but I couldn’t remember what it was.”

“That’s not an arithmetic problem,” said Allison. “That’s spelling.”

“Yes, you are right again,” said Mrs. Jewls. “I always get the two mixed up.”