Sideways Stories from Wayside School (Wayside School 1)

“You idiot,” said Dameon.

“Take a train, peanut brain,” Terrence answered.

D.J. went and told Louis.

Stephen, Calvin, Joe, John, and Leslie were playing spud. Stephen was IT. Everyone else had a number. Stephen had to throw the ball up in the air and call out a number. The person who had that number had to try to catch it.

“Can I play?” asked Terrence.

“No,” said Calvin. “You’ll just kick the ball over the fence.”

“No,” said Joe.

“No way,” said John.

“No,” said Leslie.

“Sure,” said Stephen. “Newcomers are IT.” He gave the ball to Terrence. “Just throw the ball up in the air and call out a number between one and five.”

“Okay,” said Terrence.

The children formed a circle around Terrence.

“A million,” yelled Terrence as he kicked the ball over the fence.

“What did you do that for?” asked Stephen.

“Eat a frog, warthog,” said Terrence.

Stephen ran and told Louis.

Terrence looked around. There was nothing to do. There were no balls left.

Louis walked up to him. He was followed by Allison, Rondi, Dameon, D.J., Stephen, Calvin, Joe, John, and Leslie.

“What’s the matter, Terrence?” asked Louis.

“There are no balls,” said Terrence. “Do you have a green ball?”

“No,” said Louis. “All of my balls have mysteriously disappeared.”

“Darn it,” said Terrence. “There is nothing left to kick.”

“Nothing left to kick?” asked Louis. “Oh, I don’t know about that. What do you think, Rondi? Is there anything left to kick?”

Rondi thought a minute. Then she smiled. She was missing her two front teeth. “Yes, there is something left to kick,” she said.

“Well where is it?” asked Terrence.

“Let me check with Allison,” said Louis. “Allison, is there anything left to kick?” He winked at her.

“There sure is,” said Allison.

“What, what?” asked Terrence.

“How about you, Dameon?” asked Louis. “Can you think of anything?”

Dameon nodded his head yes.