Wayside School Beneath the Cloud of Doom (Wayside School 4)

Dr. Pickle realized he had better hurry up and get started. “Cold,” he began.

“Hot,” Kathy replied.

“Hard.”

“Soft.”

“Skinny.”

“Fat.”

“This is kind of fun, isn’t it, Kathy?” asked Dr. Pickle.

“No, it’s boring,” said Kathy.

“Worse than I thought,” said Dr. Pickle. “I studied your condition in psychiatrist school. “I’m afraid you have a bad case of oppositosis.”

“No, I don’t. You do!”

Dr. Pickle stroked his beard.

Unfortunately, there was no known cure for oppositosis. Other psychiatrists had tried to help their patients learn to be kind and think positively.

Dr. Pickle knew that would never work on Kathy. He had his own theory, however. He could try to turn her opposites into double opposites.

He opened his desk drawer and took out his pickle-stone and chain.

Kathy watched the green stone as it gently swung back and forth. She fell asleep on the count of five.

“Can you hear me, Kathy?” he asked.

“And I can smell you too,” she replied.

“You are looking into a mirror,” he told her.

“I’m looking into a mirror,” Kathy repeated, eyes closed.

“Tell me what you see.”

“I see a beautiful girl with black hair,” she said. “And I see a funny-looking man with a pointy beard.”

“Very good,” said Dr. Pickle. “Now I want you to reach out and touch the mirror.”

Kathy slowly moved her arm.

“But as you try to touch it,” said Dr. Pickle, “you’ll discover the mirror isn’t solid. Your hand will go right through it.”

Kathy stuck her hand out farther. “That’s weird,” she said.

“Now stand up, and walk through the mirror.”

Kathy stood up. She took one step, then another. She hesitated for a moment, and then took one last step.

“Amazing!” she exclaimed.

“You are on the other side of the mirror,” said Dr. Pickle. “What do you see?”

Kathy looked around. “Nice office,” she said. She sniffed. “Smells nice too.”