Dogs Don't Tell Jokes (Someday Angeline 2)

“It was written by Bob Dylan,” said Melissa, “one of the greatest songwriters to ever live.”

Gary and Abel looked at each other. They didn’t see what was so great about it. But they had liked watching Mr. Bone dance. She hadn’t danced like that when she was Gary’s fifth-grade teacher.

Gary was wearing a hat too, a black fedora with a green band.

“So, are you all prepared for the talent show?” asked Melissa.

She suddenly became his fifth-grade teacher again, asking if he’d done his homework.

“It’s getting there,” he said, trying to sound confident. He couldn’t tell her he was thinking of quitting. When she was his teacher, she was always getting down on him for not finishing what he started.

“Look, are we going to sing and dance, or are we going to play croquet?” complained Gus. For once, Gus was winning.

It was Gary’s turn. He stepped up and smacked the ball cleanly through the wicket.

Except he hit the wrong ball.

“That was my ball,” said Abel. “I’m orange.”

“Huh?”

“You’re green,” said Abel. “You hit the orange ball.”

Melissa took off Abel’s and Gary’s hats, and she put Gary’s hat on Abel’s head and Abel’s hat on Gary’s head. “There, all fixed,” she said.

Angeline laughed. “You’re pretty funny when you’re not being a teacher,” she said.

“Thank you. I guess,” said Melissa. “What’s the matter, Gary?” she asked. “You seem a little lost.”

“I guess you got your mind on the talent show,” said Abel. “Less than a week away.”

Gary shrugged.

“You want to know how I keep from getting nervous?” Angeline said.

“How?” asked Gary, although he couldn’t imagine Angeline ever being nervous about anything.

“The contest is Friday, right?” said Angeline. “On Saturday it will all be over—forever. So don’t think about Friday. Think about Saturday.”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Gus. “That’s real good advice, Angelini. But now, Gary. Do you want to know the surefire way to keep from getting nervous on stage?”

“What?” asked Gary.

“Okay. When you get up on stage and look out over the audience, just imagine everyone naked.”

“Gus!” exclaimed Melissa as Gary and Angeline laughed.

“What’s wrong?” asked Gus. “It’s an old trick used by lots of public speakers.”

“Well, for one thing,” said Melissa, “I’m going to be in the audience.”

Gary turned bright red. “You’re going to be in the audience?” he asked, without looking at her.

“We all will,” Abel said. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“We’ll be your sycophants,” said Melissa.

“My what?”