Dogs Don't Tell Jokes (Someday Angeline 2)

Gary promised he wouldn’t.

After dinner he tore down his posters of famous comedians. Then he went through his baseball cards and memorized the players’ lifetime batting averages.

18.

Gary showed his baseball cards to Ira. They made a trade. Gary traded away two of his cards, and in return got five of Ira’s. He wasn’t sure why he got five cards when he had to give Ira only two, but he wasn’t going to complain.

“I’m just helping a friend get started,” Ira explained. “When you’re first starting out, the important thing is to get a lot of cards. It doesn’t matter who they are.”

It all happened so fast Gary didn’t understand any of it. Still, he knew he must have done something right, because after Ira told Steve and Michael about the trade, they both wanted to make trades with Gary too.

“Goon, next time you get some new baseball cards,” said Michael (or Steve), you come to me first, okay? I’ll make you a good trade.”

“No, come to me,” said Steve (or Michael).

“I’m your friend, Gary,” said Ira. “I’ve always treated you right.”

Joe let him go out for several passes in gym class, and he caught two of the three Joe threw to him. On one of the passes, Zack told him he made a good catch.

“Zack,” said Joe. “You want to play electric football after school?”

Zack shrugged. “I guess.”

Gary couldn’t imagine why anyone would want an electric football. How would you plug it in? It would have to be battery-operated, or else you’d need a real long cord.

“How about you, Goon?” asked Joe.

“Huh?”

“You want to come over after school and play electric football?”

“Sounds cool,” said Gary, trying to sound cool.

He didn’t know where Joe lived. He knew he should have just asked him, but for some reason he didn’t—like he was afraid to admit he didn’t know where Joe lived. It was stupid. He knew it was stupid as he sat at his desk in history, his last class of the day.

He’d have to try to find Joe after school and ask him. Then Joe would wonder why he hadn’t asked him earlier. He shook his head and sighed. Or else he could look in a phone book, but there were probably lots of Reeds in the phone book, and phone books didn’t always give addresses.

“This is even worse than not bringing him the ice cream sandwich,” he said.

When the bell rang, he hurried out of the room, then searched the halls for Joe or Zack. There were four main hallways in the school. He quickly moved from one to the other, and back again. The hallways were crowded at first, and he had to push his way past people to try and see everyone. “Hey, watch it, Goon!” someone yelled at him. But as he continued his search he kept seeing fewer and fewer people in each hallway, until at last hardly anyone was left at all. Dejected, he headed out of the building.

He was halfway home when he suddenly saw Matt, Ryan, and Paul, a block away. He ran to them. “Do you know where Joe lives?” he asked, catching his breath.

“What do you want, Goon?” asked Matt.

He had just told them. “Do you know where Joe Reed lives?” he asked again. “Joe invited me to his house,” he added with a touch of pride.

The three boys looked at one another. “I’m not sure of the exact address,” said Paul. “It’s on Garnet Lane—a two-story blue and white house. There’s a weeping willow tree out in front.”

Gary didn’t ask why the willow tree was crying. Did its leaves leave?

“Wait. Where’s Garnet Lane?” he asked.

“Do you know where Mica Road is?” asked Paul.

He nodded.

“Just take Mica Road all the way to the end,” said Paul. “You can’t miss it.”