Dogs Don't Tell Jokes (Someday Angeline 2)

“If you get lost, follow your butt,” said Ryan Utt.

Mica Road was a winding road. As Gary rounded each curve he kept hoping he’d see the end, but it just kept winding around.

Maybe the road never ended. He wasn’t stupid. He knew Paul might have made the whole thing up—as a joke. But he felt he was sort of friends with Paul, Matt, and Ryan now. He had played football with them after school. And he had told them he was invited to Joe’s. They wouldn’t play a joke on Joe.

He kept walking. “Besides, what’s so funny about giving somebody wrong directions?” he asked. “There’s nothing funny about that.”

As he rounded another curve he saw what looked like the end of the road. He walked quickly and soon saw the sign for Garnet Lane.

Garnet Lane was a narrow, quiet street with no sidewalks. He immediately spotted the two-story blue and white house. It really wasn’t such a long walk after all.

“What are you crying about?” he asked the weeping willow tree.

No one said he couldn’t tell a joke to a tree.

He rang the doorbell.

A woman opened the door. He told her he was there to see Joe.

“My husband?” asked the woman. “He’s at his office.”

Julie Rose appeared behind her mother. “What’s he doing here?” she asked.

Gary left.

It wasn’t funny. “What’s so funny about giving someone directions to Julie Rose’s house?”

What bothered him the most was that they thought it would be funny. The reason they thought it would be funny was because Julie was one of the most popular girls in school, while he was … well, it showed what they thought he was.

19.

“You get any new cards, Goon?” asked Steve (or maybe Michael).

“Um, no,” said Gary. “I haven’t had time.”

“Time?” asked Michael (or Steve). “How much time does it take to buy baseball cards?”

“Gee. It takes a whole two minutes,” said Ira.

Ira and the Higgins twins laughed.

“Two and a half minutes if you have to wait for change,” said Michael (or Steve).

They all laughed again.

“Two minutes and forty-five seconds if he only has pennies!” exclaimed the other Higgins brother.

Ira laughed so hard he almost fell down.

Gary smiled and shrugged. He had no idea what was supposed to be so funny. Surely they knew it took almost half an hour to get to the store.

“Two minutes and forty-six seconds if he drops one!” said Ira.

They were hysterical.

He leaned against the school building. He saw Joe, but Joe didn’t see him. He wasn’t sure what he’d say to him—maybe make up something about having to clean the garage.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. “So, Goon,” said Matt. “How’s Julie?”