Dogs Don't Tell Jokes (Someday Angeline 2)

“So, are you just going to stand there, or are you going to go inside?” asked Mrs. Snitzberry.

He glanced at her. “Disaster is my middle name,” he said, then opened the door.

“Pigbubble is my middle name,” said Mrs. Snitzberry.

Gary walked down the aisle between the rows of folding chairs, empty now. Miss Langley was up on stage, along with the custodian. Miss Langley appeared to be testing the microphone, but apparently it wasn’t working, because he couldn’t hear her.

He could see two other kids also on stage. Susan Smith was doing some warm-up exercises. Marsha Posey was holding a pair of roller skates. An old piano was off to the left.

Gary walked up the stairs on the side of the stage. There were several kids sitting on benches behind the purple plush curtain. Though the curtain was open, the benches still could not be seen from the auditorium.

Gary sat on a bench behind Julie Rose and Brenda Thompson. He set his paper bag under the bench. A red-haired boy whom Gary didn’t know was seated at the other end of the bench.

Gary watched Susan Smith in her black leotard raise one leg above her shoulder.

He stretched out his mouth, wiggled his jaw back and forth, and moved his tongue from side to side and in and out.

The boy with red hair looked at him, and Gary stopped his warm-up exercises. The boy was holding what appeared to be a program. Julie and Brenda also seemed to have programs.

“Where’d you get the program?” he asked the boy beside him.

The boy didn’t seem to hear him.

“At the back table,” said a girl who had sat down on the bench behind Gary. “You can have mine. I have an extra one.”

Gary turned around. The girl had short curly blond hair and wore braces. He recognized her from school, but he didn’t know her name.

She blushed. “I took two by accident. Here!” She shoved a program at him, then looked away, as if terribly embarrassed by the whole incident.

“I have to go first!” the red-haired boy complained. “I always have to go first. It’s because of my name, I know it!”

“Too bad,” said Gary, trying not to let on how glad he was that he wasn’t the one who had to go first.

He opened the program to the list of contestants.

1. Fred Furst

Fred will do several bird imitations. He is 11 years old and says he’s been interested in birds all his life.

2. Connie Lee

Connie will play the guitar and sing. She is 13 and has been playing the guitar for two and a half years.

3. Susan Smith

Susan, age 12, will perform gymnastics. She is hoping to be an Olympic gymnast someday.

4. Joe Reed

Joe, age 12, will sing a rap song of his own composition called “Goin’ Insane.”

5. Brenda Thompson

Brenda, age 12, will sing “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.” Brenda is secretary of the student council and the inspiration behind this event.

6. Matt Hughes

Matt, age 12, will tell some of his favorite jokes. His friends say he’s the funniest kid in school.