Dogs Don't Tell Jokes (Someday Angeline 2)

“You’re all right, Goon,” said Paul.

“You really are bald,” said Ryan.

“As bald as your butt,” said Gary.

All the contestants were brought back on stage. Miss Langley held her hand over each student’s head, and the audience applauded accordingly.

Third prize, ice cream sundaes for two, went to Susan Smith, the gymnast. Brenda Thompson won second prize, the gift certificate at Zulu’s Records. And to thunderous applause, Gary Wolfgang Boone was awarded first prize.

He tipped his hat to the crowd.

His parents were waiting for him when he stepped down from the stage. “I’m just glad I didn’t know,” said his mother. Then she hugged him.

His father hugged him as soon as his mother let him go.

“You’re not mad?” asked Gary.

“You already cut it off,” his mother said. “What good would it do to be mad? Just do me a favor. When we visit Grandma next week—leav

e your hat on.”

“There’s the superstar!” said Abel Persopolis. “May I have the privilege of shaking your hand?”

Gary shook Abel’s hand, and Gus’s. Gus winked at him.

Melissa took off Gary’s hat and kissed him right on top of the head.

“You must be Gary’s parents,” said Abel. “Abel Persopolis. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you for a long time.”

“Spencer Boone,” said Gary’s father, shaking his hand. “But you can call me Spoon.”

They all laughed.

“Too bad Angeline couldn’t be here,” Gary’s mother said.

“Well, we videotaped it for her,” said Melissa. She nodded to the boy holding the camcorder. “We’ll show it to her tomorrow before the croquet game.”

“Oh, that’s perfect!” said Gary’s father. “And Gary, you be sure to wear your hat until after the video is over. No, even better, take it off right at the same time you take it off in the video!”

“You might want to shave your head again tomorrow morning so there’s no stubble,” suggested Gary’s mother.

Gary looked at them in disbelief. Were these his parents?

“Why don’t you all come over for dinner after your croquet game,” said Gary’s mother. “I’ve got a new recipe for dead skunk.”

Abel, Gus, and Melissa laughed.

“Just be sure to bring a garage door opener with you,” said Gary’s father. “In case you have to use the bathroom.”

Abel pointed at Gary and said, “Now I know where you get it.”

The fifth-grader who had operated the camcorder asked Gary for his autograph.

Fred Furst was leaving with three people who were obviously his parents and big sister.

Gary went after them. “Hey, Fred!”

Fred stopped and turned.