Dogs Don't Tell Jokes (Someday Angeline 2)

“He can’t,” Joe said somewhat snidely. “He’s playing croquet with his fifth-grade teacher.”

Someone tapped his shoulder. He turned around.

“Congratulations, Gary,” said Leslie Ann Cummings.

“Thanks. I thought you should have won too. You sang better than Brenda Thompson. I would have voted for you.”

She smiled. “Oh, I don’t care. You know how it is. The popular kids always win. I mean, unless you’re supertalented.”

Gary blushed.

“So, when will it grow back?” she asked.

It took Gary a second to figure out what she meant. “Oh, I don’t know. Probably about four months.”

“Oh, that’s perfect!” said Leslie Ann. “I get my braces off in four months.”

She hurried away.

Gary watched her for a moment. Did she just say what he thought she said?

He’d left his bag of props under the bench on stage. He went back up to get it, then sat down for a moment and rested on the bench. He suddenly felt very tired.

He took a long deep breath as he held his chin in his hands, propped up by his elbows. The buzz of the auditorium seemed to surround him, or maybe it was his own brain that was buzzing.

He took another long deep breath.

He looked at the back of the purple curtain. It had worn thin in a number of places and was tattered around the edges. It really was quite dingy.

He would have thought the school would take better care of its curtain. At least clean it once in a while!

He took out his big towel and wiped a tear from his eye.

He was still crying fifteen minutes later when his mother came up on stage to see what had happened to him.

THE CRITICS RAVED:

“Hilarious! Stupendous! Amorphous!”

—Fred Furst

“I never stopped laughing. Funny? He redefined the word. Tunny’ doesn’t mean what it meant yesterday.”

—Angeline Persopolis

“He deserved to win. He was quite funny, in an amazing sort of way.”

—Nancy Langley

“Well, sure. I could have won too if I had shaved my head.”

—Matt Hughes

“The world’s greatest sandbagger!”

—Joe Reed

“He’s going to be famous someday.”