Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger (Wayside School 3)

Jason stretched his mouth until his cheeks hurt.

“That’s good,” said Dr. Payne. “Now just a little bit wider.”

The veins in Jason’s neck bulged out as he stretched his mouth even wider. His eyes watered. His throat was dry.

“Okay, just hold it like that,” said Dr. Payne. She turned on the sucking machine and put a tube in Jason’s mouth.

The machine made a gagging noise as it sucked out his last drop of moisture.

As Dr. Payne poked around at his teeth she said “Tsk, tsk” and “Oh, my!” several times.

“So how do you like school?” she asked.

“Aghaa,” said Jason.

“What grade are you in?”

“Aakhalak,” said Jason.

“Well, just remember,” said Dr. Payne. “It’s very important to always listen to your teachers and do whatever they say.”

She poked a tooth with a long, pointed dentist tool.

“AAAAHhhhhhhhh!” Jason screamed in agony.

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“Did that hurt?” asked Dr. Payne.

Jason shook his head. If he told her it hurt, she might think it was a cavity. If she couldn’t find it herself, he certainly wasn’t going to tell her about it.

“Are you sure?” asked Dr. Payne. She poked the same spot.

This time Jason didn’t make a sound. Tears and sweat dripped down his face.

The receptionist came into the room.

“Yes?” said Dr. Payne.

Jason was glad for the break.

“Kendall’s mother is on the phone,” said the receptionist. “She refuses to pay her bill.”

“What?!” exclaimed Dr. Payne. “How dare—”

“She says you pulled the wrong tooth.”

“Give me the phone!” shouted Dr. Payne.

The receptionist handed it to her.

“This is Dr. Payne. What do you mean you’re not paying your bill? … Well, then, just bring Kendall back in here, and I’ll pull that one too. I’ll pull them all! But you still have to pay me.

“Your lawyer! I don’t care what your lawyer said. You can tell your lawyer to rub a monkey’s tummy! … You heard me! Rub a monkey’s tummy with your head!”

She slammed down the phone.