Wayside School Is Falling Down (Wayside School 2)

“What was your favorite subject?” asked Jenny.

“Spelling,” said the hobo.

“Spelling!” exclaimed Jenny. “I hate spelling!”

“I once came in first place in a spelling bee, out of all the kids in my school,” Bob said proudly.

“Well, how come you became a hobo?” asked Dameon. “I mean, if you’re such a good speller?”

“I’m not sure,” said Bob. “When you grow up, you’re supposed to turn into something. Some kids turn into dentists. Others turn into bank presidents. I didn’t turn into anything. So I became a hobo.”

“Did you ever try to get a job?” asked Calvin.

“I tried,” said Bob. “But nobody would hire me because I didn’t wear socks.”

“So why didn’t you just wear socks?” asked Eric Fry.

“I told you. I don’t believe in socks. Yes, the girl with the cute front teeth.”

Rondi lowered her hand. She was missing her two front teeth. “What do you eat?” she asked.

“Mulligan stew,” said Bob. “My friends and I collect scraps of food all day, and then we cook it up in a big pot and share it. It’s always different, but very tasty.”

“Why is it called mulligan stew?” asked Stephen.

“There was once a hobo named Mulligan,” said Bob. “He made the first mulligan stew.”

“Was he a good cook?” asked Todd.

“No, he was eaten by cannibals.”

“Yuck!” everyone said together, except for Dana, who was very confused. She thought Bob had said he was eaten by cannonballs.

Allison raised her hand. “Can’t you just wear socks, even if you don’t believe in them?” she asked.

“Socks!” Bob shouted so loud it scared everybody. “Is that all you kids ever talk about? Socks! Socks! Socks! Albert Einstein didn’t wear any socks! Why should I?”

“Who’s Albert Einstein?” asked Eric Ovens.

Mrs. Jewls answered that question. She said, “Albert Einstein was the smartest man who ever lived.”

“Was he also a hobo?” asked D.J.

“No, he was a great scientist,” said Mrs. Jewls.

“Why didn’t Albert Einstein wear socks?” asked Joy.

“Because socks make you stupid,” said Bob.

“That’s not true,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Albert Einstein was just too busy thinking about big important things to remember to put on his socks.”

“Maybe,” said Bob. “But remember I told you I won the school spelling bee? Well, the day I won it, I forgot to wear socks. Think about it.”

Everyone thought about it.

“So after that I never wore socks again,” said Bob.

Mac raised his hand. “Once I could only find one of my socks,” he said. “Man, I looked everywhere for it! Under the bed, in the bathroom. You’ll never guess where I finally found it.”