Zigzag’s Tv Guide
Each camper is given a crate for keeping personal items in: toothbrush, toothpaste, towels, etc. Whatever you put in there, everybody will know what you have. The crates are open. There are no lids, let alone locks. But no one will touch your stuff. It’s an unwritten law, like no throwing dirt in someone else’s hole.
Each guy usually has something else in his crate, too, what I call a lifeline. It’s something that connects him to life back home. I kept a photograph of my parents. Armpit had a catcher’s mitt. Squid kept a rubber octopus. Don’t ask me why. You don’t ask too many questions, and you don’t ever cut someone’s lifeline.
Zigzag’s lifeline was a TV Guide dated March 22, 1998. The torn cover showed the crew from one of the Star Trek shows. Maybe Zigzag was a Trekkie. A lot of people thought Zigzag was from outer space.
I’d often see Zigzag lying on his cot, carefully studying the pages. He could probably tell you when any show was on that particular week and what was going to happen in it. Of course, whatever was going to happen had already happened. For most of us, the week of March 22, 1998, was history. For Zigzag, the week ran on a continuous loop.
There was a television inside the Wreck Room, and I guess it’s still there. It doesn’t come close to working. Even if it did, I doubt there would be any reception. The Warden has a satellite dish outside her cabin, but she lives in a different reality.
Still, every day after digging and showering, Zigzag plopped himself down on the Wreck Room floor and stared at the TV. Whatever he was watching was playing only inside his head, something from the week of March 22, 1998.
It was an old-fashioned TV with one of those big circular knobs used for changing channels. It must have been made before cable, because as far as I could tell, there were only thirteen possible channels.
Sometimes X-Ray would ask, “Hey, Zig. Whatcha watchin’?” and Zigzag would reply, “I Dream of Jeanie,” or “The Simpsons,” or whatever. No one laughed. No one ever pointed out that there was nothing on the screen. Let sleeping dogs lie. Don’t cut someone’s lifeline, especially someone as crazy as Zigzag.
Then one day a guy from E tent came over and sat down next to Zigzag. His name was Easy. His real name was Eric Zornlitch. He was called Easy because of his initials.
He was anything but easygoing. He had been sent to Camp Green Lake in the first place because a dog pooped in front of him when he was riding his skateboard. Easy beat up the dog’s owner, and then the dog.
Easy sat down next to Zigzag and stared at the TV. When Zigzag didn’t seem to notice him, Easy laughed loudly, as if he was watching something really funny. He slapped Zigzag on the back.
Zigzag looked a little annoyed but otherwise continued to ignore him.
Easy elbowed Zigzag in the side and said, “That was pretty funny, huh?”
Zigzag never laughed or showed any reaction to any show he was watching. He just stared.
Finally, Easy reached over and changed the channel. By this time everybody in the Wreck Room was watching them watch TV. I was beginning to get worried.
Zigzag turned the knob back. “I was here first,” he said.
Easy looked over at his friends from E tent and smiled. “But I’ve seen this show before,” he said, and turned the knob again.
“I haven’t,” said Zigzag. He turned it back.
Some of the other guys in the room began to get into it. “Zigzag’s always hogging the set!” someone shouted.
“Let someone else watch something for a change,” someone else put in.
Other guys came in on Zigzag’s side. “Zigzag was there first. Let him finish his show!”
Easy reached for the channel knob.
Zigzag’s hand clamped on top of Easy’s. In a dangerously quiet voice he said, “Wait until the show’s over.”
Zigzag did not seem especially threatening. He resembled a tall, skinny bobblehead doll. But Easy had been around long enough to know that the crazy guys were the most dangerous.
Easy glanced back at his friends. They urged him on.
“Change the channel.”
“Zigzag has watched long enough.”
“Why don’t you just wait for a commercial?” X-Ray offered. “Then Easy can see what’s happening on his channel. That all right with you, Zigzag?”
Zigzag’s hand was still wrapped ar