Stanley Yelnats' Survival Guide to Camp Green Lake (Holes 1.50)

Armpit walked over to Twitch and threw a handful of dirt in his face. “Your dirt landed in my hole.” Then he walked back to his hole.

“What’s his problem?” Twitch asked, wiping the dirt from his eye. He didn’t realize he’d gotten off easy. I hoped, for his sake, no more of his dirt would land in Armpit’s hole.

I didn’t have to worry. It was right about then that Twitch started wearing down. His shovel got slower, and slower, and then, for the first time since he got to Camp Green Lake, Twitch stopped twitching.

Then the moaning and groaning started. “My hands hurt. Ahggh. I can’t hold the shovel.” His voice was raspy, and all kinds of strange sounds came out of him. “Ahgha. Oy-yah. Anybody got any water they don’t want? Uhnnhhk. Caveman, can I have some of your water?”

Yeah, right.

“First hole’s the hardest,” I told him.

That was a lie. The second hole is a lot harder. You’re tired and sore before you even crawl out of bed.

The water truck came an hour later. Twitch used his last ounce of strength to drag himself out of his hole and scramble to the front of the line. But that isn’t how things are done at Camp Green Lake. You have to earn your place in line.

X-Ray was always first, followed by Armpit, Squid, Zigzag, Magnet, and then me. I didn’t get in line that day, so Twitch took my place.

I wish I could tell you if and how Twitch made it through the day, and if he survived Camp Green Lake, but I left the camp abruptly after the arrival of the water truck and went out searching for Zero. One of the last things I heard Twitch say was “Hey, check out this awesome lizard!”

12

Yellow-Spotted Lizards

How to recognize a yellow-spotted lizard: You’ll hardly see the yellow spots. The first things you’ll notice are the huge red eyes, then the sharp black teeth, and then the long white tongue. I don’t know what makes the eleven small yellow spots on the lizard’s back so special. Perhaps there’s another type of lizard with red eyes, black teeth, and a ten-inch tongue that doesn’t have yellow spots.

If you see a yellow-spotted lizard, forget about everything else I’ve told you and just run. Don’t look where you’re going. Go! Scream if you want.

The yellow-spotted lizard’s venom is ten times more toxic than rattlesnake venom, and there is no antivenin. The lizards have powerful legs, and unlike scorpions, they know how to use them.

Habitat: Holes, five feet deep, five feet in diameter.

What to do if you are bitten by a yellow-spotted lizard: If there is something you wanted to do in your life before you died, now’s the time to do it.

Survival Test Five

You have just stolen Mr. Sir’s water truck and are speeding away across the digging area. You should:

A: Fasten your seat belt.

B: Stop. Bang your head against the steering wheel several times and repeat, “What have I done? What have I done?”

C: Return to Mr. Sir and say, “The brakes are fine, but you’ll need to adjust the carburetor.”

D: Whatever. It doesn’t matter.

E: LOOK OUT!!!

answer to test five

D is the correct answer. There are only two possible explanations for your situation. Either you are dreaming, or you’ve been bitten by a yellow-spotted lizard and you wanted to drive a truck before you died. In either case, it doesn’t matter what you do.

13

X-ray and the B-tent Boys

You might say X-Ray survived too well.

From the very beginning, when I was first taken to D tent, it was obvious who was the leader. It wasn’t Armpit or Squid, the two toughest guys in the tent. It was X-Ray, a skinny kid who wore thick glasses that were so dirty he needed X-ray vision just to see out of them.