‘Tamsyn!’
It was Ellie. With a sigh Tamsyn got up off the single bed, walked across the tiny room and stuck her head outside the door. ‘Yep?’ she yelled down.
‘There’s somebody here to see you.’
Tamsyn blinked. Nobody other than Ellie knew she was back, because that was how she wanted it. Time to lick her wounds and recover—even if right now that seemed like an impossibility. She’d told Hannah she was here, in a rushed phone call to the palace in Zahristan when she’d tried her very best—and somehow succeeded—in not sobbing her heart out as she explained that her brief marriage was over. Surely her heavily pregnant sister hadn’t impulsively flown over to see her?
‘Who is it?’ she called back.
‘Me,’ said a dark, accented voice which carried up the stairs. ‘Your husband.’
Tamsyn clutched onto the door handle, trying not to react as she saw a glimpse of the top of Xan’s dark head as he walked up the stairs. A lurch of joy and fear made her feel almost dizzy, but most of all she could feel an overwhelming sense of yearning as his broad shoulders came into view. But she wasn’t going to let him know that, because one thing she knew was that there could be no going back. She could be strong, yes—she’d spent her life trying to be strong in the face of adversity. Just not strong enough to stay with a man who was never going to care for her.
‘Xan,’ she croaked, as he drew closer. ‘What...what are you doing here?’
‘Not now,’ he said grimly as he reached the top of the stairs. ‘In private.’
‘Everything okay?’ called Ellie’s anxiously from the bottom of the stairs.
‘Everything’s just fine,’ said Xan, in the kind of tone which broached no argument.
Tamsyn felt even more dizzy as he reached the top of the stairs and gestured for her to proceed him into the room, still with that same grim expression on his face. She told herself she didn’t have to let him in. After all, it was her room, not his—and technically he could even be described as trespassing. She could tell him to leave and only to contact her through her lawyers, but deep down she knew that wasn’t an option—and not just because she didn’t actually have any lawyers. It was more because she wanted to feast her eyes on him one last time. To file away the memory of those cold blue eyes, that hot body, and the sensual mouth which had brought her so much pleasure.
‘So, Tamsyn,’ he said, once he was inside the miniscule room and completely dominating it, having flicked a dismissive glance at the tiny bed and the view out over an alley which was lined with overflowing dustbins. ‘Are you going to explain why you decided to run off without telling me?’
Her heart was beating very fast as she sucked in a deep breath. No, she wasn’t. Because she didn’t owe him anything. Nothing.
But the defensiveness which had always been second nature to her wasn’t coming as easily as usual and she wondered how convincing her nonchalant shrug was. ‘We both knew it had to end sometime,’ she said carelessly. ‘I just made an executive decision to end it early. It was a fake marriage, Xan. It was conceived to get you out of a tight spot and as far as I’m concerned, I’ve performed my part of the bargain.’
‘Why, Tamsyn?’ he said simply.
Once again, she shrugged, even though when he said her name like that it made her want to cry. ‘I heard... I heard you talking with your father.’
His eyes narrowed in comprehension and then he nodded. ‘Did you now? So you will have heard me defending you.’
‘Yes, I heard you. Thanks.’
He looked at her. ‘And that’s it?’
She nodded. ‘Yep, that’s it. There’s nothing more to say. I don’t even know why you’re here.’
‘Because I don’t understand. And I need to understand.’
She shook her head so that her unruly curls flew all around her shoulders and impatiently she pushed them away. ‘No,’ she negated heatedly. ‘You don’t need to understand, Xan. You want to understand—and there’s a difference. I know you’re rich and powerful, but even you have got to realise that you can’t always get what you want. So will you please go?’
He shook his head. ‘There’s something you’re not telling me, Tamsyn.’
‘And? What if there is? You’re not privy to my innermost thoughts—even if we were a real married couple, which we’re not! You have no right to expect explanations.’
‘I disagree,’ he said coolly. ‘I think I do, and I’m not going anywhere until you start talking to me. I want the truth, Tamsyn. I think you owe me that, at least.’
Did she? Did she owe him anything? For the sexual awakening, or for making her realise that she was as capable of love as anyone else? As she stared into his resolute face, Tamsyn recognised she was in real danger here. She wanted her heart to stop hurting but the only way that was going to happen was if Xan went away and left her alone, and he wasn’t showing any sign of doing that. She could see the look of determination on his face and realised he meant it when he’d said he wouldn’t
be satisfied with anything but the truth.
So should she tell him and witness his disgust when he realised what kind of person he’d really married? Watch his gorgeous face freeze with fastidious horror when he learned the truth about her gene pool? And that might that be the best outcome of all, because then he really would say goodbye and she could begin the long process of getting over him. If she pushed him away first—at least he wouldn’t be able to turn round and do it to her. She sucked in an unsteady breath. ‘You described me as honest and decent and true,’ she said quietly. ‘But I’m not. At least, I’m not honest.’
‘What are you talking about?’