Still With Me

Jeremy squeezed her hand. He felt overwhelmed with happiness. Her story was tangible evidence that proved he was alive in the folds of a reality that was beautiful and true.

“When the ambulance arrived, you were clinically dead. You were very white and very beautiful. Your features showed a kind of determination. I was frantic. I cried. I called to you. I shouted, ‘I love you,’ thinking my words might reach you wherever you were. I asked God to let you come back to life. Me” —Victoria shook her head wryly— “a self-proclaimed atheist!

“I have to believe God listened to me anyway because the EMT restarted your heart. You stayed in a coma until that night, and I was there when you came out of it. With Pierre. He was surprised to see me so attentive, so caring. I couldn’t explain why. I told him it was because it was my fault, but I knew it was something else. When you woke up, it took you time to understand what had happened. And you refused to talk about what you did. You didn’t speak at all for almost a week. I went to see you every day. Pierre too. And one day, here at the hospital, I kissed you.”

Victoria paused. “Do you remember our first kiss?” She asked the question in a lighter tone.

“No…I…”

How could I forget that kiss? I wanted it so much.

“It’s hard to imagine you don’t remember that,” Victoria remarked sadly.

Jeremy was angry at himself for hurting her, so he tried to distract her. “Tell me about the kiss. I wanted it for so long.”

Her smile returned. “Oh, well, we talked a lot during your recovery. I mean me, mostly. You…you stayed silent. It felt like you didn’t really know me or you held something against me.”

“What do you mean?”

She stroked his cheek. “It’s funny, we’ve never talked so openly about this period, and now, because of the state you’re in, I feel like I can say anything. Okay, so…You were cold with me. Almost indifferent. It was as if your love was dead, and at the same time, part of you had evaporated. I took it as a form of retaliation and felt like I was boring you. I wanted to make you love me again. And I did. You couldn’t resist my ravishing charm!”

They laughed.

“One day, I got a new declaration of love. You said beautiful things. Okay, not as nice as that time in the park, but still…We kissed in the hospital. We even made love in your room. Spooning, if I remember correctly.” She smiled. “Talk about a strange place for a first time.”

Strangely, Jeremy felt jealous of this other self who Victoria had kissed and with whom she had shared these magic moments.

“And then?” he asked.

“When you were ready to leave the hospital, I worked it out so you could come live with me. Actually, the doctors said you shouldn’t be left alone. So I offered to take care of you.”

She blushed and gave him a mischievous look. He smiled at her.

“A month later, you decided to leave your apartment to come live permanently at my place. You were so excited. You had just found a job.”

“What job?”

“You can’t guess?”

“I was a graphic arts student, so…Illustration? Graphic design?”

“Oh, no. You never wanted to pick up your pens again. You’re a salesman.”

“What!” Jeremy almost shouted in surprise.

“Yes, you’re really good, actually. With a bright future and bosses who love you. You sell industrial adhesives.”

“Salesman? I’m not the type. I never knew how to talk about money.”

“It must be love that changed you, my dear, because you’re about to receive a promotion, after just a few months. It’s a real record in your line of work.”

“That’s crazy.” Jeremy was dismayed by this new revelation. “A salesman. It’s impossible. I’m too shy for that. I wanted to be a graphic designer. I was passionate about my art and gifted.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep talking about this. You’re sweating, and you look tired.”

“I want to know…”

She interrupted him, worried. “No. I won’t say another word. It’s upsetting you too much. And it’s probably not recommended for people in your condition.”