Still With Me

“Me, I’m a little lost. And you—what do you think?”

The child had to have an opinion of his own.

“You’re not very good and…you’re gone a lot.”

“I work too much?”

Thomas nodded. “You’re never there. And Mom says you don’t take care of her anymore.”

“You think she’s right?”

“Yeah, she’s right. And you don’t take care of us either.”

“Are you mad at me too?”

The child nodded.

“You know, I’m going to try and change. I promise.” Jeremy had barely finished making the promise before regretting it.

I’m stupid for giving him hope. The man I am seems to care only about leaving unhappiness in his wake. My children, my wife, my father, my mother…

“I have to call Grandma and Grandpa,” he said to Thomas. “Do you have their number?”

The boy looked at him in surprise. “Yes, I have it. But…”

Seeing the look on Thomas’s face, Jeremy knew he was in for another disappointment. “But what?”

“Nothing…I’ll call them.” The child hadn’t looked up.

“Grandma? It’s Thomas…I’m at the hospital…No, no, here’s Dad. He’ll explain.” Thomas handed the cell phone to Jeremy.

“Mom?”

“Yes…What happened? Did something bad happen?”

Jeremy felt his heart tighten when he heard his mother’s voice. He described the incident and reassured her of Simon’s health.

“Why didn’t Victoria call me?” she asked more firmly.

“She’s not here. She’s at her parents’ house.”

“And she left you with the kids?” she said bitingly.

“We’re in a bit of a fight, I think…”

“You think?”

“But we’ll work it out. And you? How are you?”

“How am I? You’re worried? You’re interested today? Because you were afraid for your son? The ambulance, the hospital, the fear that eats away at your stomach…It’s traumatizing, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is.”

“It’s the kind of anguish that reconnects us with reality. And the reality is you’ve forgotten your parents. Your parents whom you haven’t spoken to in six years. And today you call me because you feel alone, desperate. Because you’re afraid.”

Jeremy was demolished. It was almost unbearable to hear his mother speak to him so harshly.

“Is Victoria going to be joining you?”