On shaky legs, he walked around to the driver’s side. Looking up, he saw that Cindy had long since closed the door. Maybe if he had gone on to law school, as he had intended, he could have given her this pile of rocks. It never happened. The more he got to know lawyers as a cop, the less he wanted to be one. He could have stomached being a prosecutor, but there was no money in it. Prosecutors didn’t live in Hyde Park. Cindy never understood how he liked being a police officer. Every day, no matter how shitty, you could come home and know you had actually helped someone. On good days, you got the bad guys. That sensibility never left him. He was so much the same.
He listened to the voice mail: “Will, it’s Diane Henderson, Covington P.D. We matched the shoe print that we found on the boat. It’s a size ten-and-a-half Columbia Sportswear Drainmaker.”
Thursday
Chapter Seventeen
Cheryl Beth visited her daughter early that morning. Eighteen years old now: past childhood that went so fast and nearly an adult. She had Cheryl Beth’s face, hair, and eyes. They were nearly carbon copies. She could do anything she wanted, live adventures her mother had never experienced, give her so much to be proud of. Someday give her grandchildren. Cheryl Beth imagined the years of pink dresses and stuffed animals and squeals of laughter over the most trivial delights. She was not like her mother had been, telling Cheryl Beth all that she could not be, subtly upending her dreams at every corner. At eighteen, her daughter would be confident and kind, full of wit and decency, so intelligent it would continually astonish Cheryl Beth.
If only she had lived.
As she had for fifteen years, Cheryl Beth sat on her daughter’s grave, arranged fresh flowers for her birthday, and wept. Time did not heal some things.
Time did not heal this gaping hole in her heart. It did little better than, very slowly, to dull the pain from losing her father when she was nine, that big, rough-handed, laughing bear of a man she had so loved. She had been a daddy’s girl. He had a good job on the L&N Railroad until the day it killed him. She still heard his voice. She still felt that anguish beyond words. Time didn’t heal.
The best you could do was try to take one step forward, then follow it with another, and try to go on. For years, this had been a day Cheryl Beth would take off, even calling in sick if necessary. She could now at least function enough to go to the hospital after saying a long prayer for all the lost children, all the lives that were never lived, the eighteenth birthdays that were marked on the dewy grass of graveyards until they could see each other again at God’s table.
She used her index finger to trace the name on the headstone. The green and gold of the newborn grass mocked her. The trees flaunted their beauty, unconcerned with her cares.
She had lied to Will last night when he asked if she had children. This honorable man and she had lied, as she always did. No: That was always her response. Ask a little more and she would say, the timing didn’t work out. Damned straight. Fifteen years and she still couldn’t talk about it. The only people who knew were her family, and the family of her ex-husband. Their marriage hadn’t survived the death. Cheryl Beth had barely survived. Oh, so many years she had cried an angry prayer of why didn’t you take me? Even now, she could work in any unit of any hospital but peds.
She was put together again by the time she arrived at the hospital and the intensity of the morning shift let her put that one foot forward once again.
At lunch, she had to get out. So she walked up and down the broad lawn that ran from the main entrance to Auburn Avenue. The groundskeepers probably wouldn’t like it, but the spring sunshine and the shade of the trees was healing, these and her fast stride back and forth. Across the street, the occasional car would pull into the William Howard Taft National Historical Site, honoring the only president from Cincinnati. She wasn’t hungry.
On her third circuit, she noticed Allison Schultz watching her.
***
The funeral for Cincinnati Police Officer Kristen Gruber was held at ten a.m. at St. Peter in Chains Cathedral. It was a grand, Greek revival building with a tall, slender steeple at Eighth and Plum downtown. It sat across the street from the brick Victorian mass of City Hall and the delicately Moorish-Gothic Isaac M. Wise Temple, home of Reform Judaism. Church and state in the Queen City. Inside the cathedral was a magnificent pipe organ. Cops from three states came, all in their finest dress uniforms. Will would later learn that 1,200 mourners filled the church. He wasn’t among them. Instead, he sat in his car and watched the crowd. Another detective was concealed among the television crews, filming the people as they walked up the steps. The process would be repeated when Kristen’s coffin, an American flag tight across the top, was carried back out, a police bagpiper in front, on its journey out to St. Mary Cemetery.
Will despised the sound of bagpipes. He had barely slept the night before. It was even worse than usual. He sat in the chair at the foot of the bed, shaking his tense right leg until what he called “shift change” caused his left leg to start its own little hell. Then he would have to walk on it. His back hurt from the fall in front of Cindy’s house. His hands were raw. He didn’t want to know about Drainmaker shoes. Tens of thousands must have been sold. But then there was that knife in John’s pocket, that damned knife. And his odd visit to Will’s townhouse. His instincts told him something was wrong.
Calling Cheryl Beth to thank her for a nice evening—that was the good thing on his mind. But he might seem to be coming on too strong. In any event, he had to watch carefully. He didn’t know exactly what he was looking for, but this was S.O.P. It didn’t surprise him that Kenneth Buchanan wasn’t there. Her lover the sergeant walked by in dress uniform. From another direction, several minutes later, the diving instructor mounted the steps and disappeared inside.
“You’re mighty inconspicuous.”
Dodds climbed in and sat, momentarily tilting the car. He slid Will’s cane out of the passenger seat.
Will said, “And now I’ve got a fat black man in his band uniform to complete the picture.”
“Anything happening?”
Will shook his head.
“I’m sorry, partner. I tried to fight for you.”
Will’s stomach turned sour. “What?”
“They didn’t tell you? Fuckers. Fassbinder’s made me the lead on Gruber. You know how he can get. You never feel the knife until it’s in your back.”
“The chief put me on this case.”
“I know. But it’s a done deal. The case is moving too slowly for command. They want somebody in custody. Hell, Kristen’s face is on the cover of People magazine, all over the blogs, and the Cincinnati Police can’t solve the murder.” He sighed. “I was able to keep you as the liaison detective with Covington.”
Will fought to control his emotions, without much success. “It’s not one of her boyfriends, unless it’s the lawyer, Buchanan. And he’ll sue us if we push too hard. You know how these things go.”
“That’s why I fought for you,” Dodds said. “I told them you were the best homicide investigator in the department…”