“Nothing, thankfully.”
“Is that what you said you wanted to talk to me about?”
I shook my head. “No, there’s something else I’ve gotta bring up.”
Fox started to leave for the kitchen, but I stopped him midstep. “You should be here, too.”
“Oh,” he said, surprised. He came back to the couch and sat.
“So I told you that I hired someone to look into what happened with Derrick and I… the only thing is… well, I hired Beckham.”
“Beckham? Beckham Noble? From Stonewall?”
I nodded. Swallowed. Why was this making me so nervous? I felt like I was coming out all over again, except this time I didn’t have any rainbow confetti cannons.
“Okay… but why is that such a big deal?” Jonah asked.
“Well…”
I noticed Fox’s eyebrows rise. It must have clicked into place for him. I knew my brother shouldn’t be too far behind. “That’s not exactly all of it.”
“Olly, you’re acting… you’re acting kind of weird. What’s going?—” Annnd it must have hit home judging by my brother’s widening eyes. “?Wait, you and Beckham… are you two together?” Only one of my brother’s brows arched.
I gave a small nod. My eyes darted to the floor, to my hands, to the window, before I forced myself to look at my big brother in the eyes. “Beckham and I are dating and… it’s going really well. Like, I’ve never felt this way with anyone before. And we met in the craziest way, too. And we’ve had the craziest adventures that I don’t think I’ll ever forget. I’m so excited for what’s ahead. I haven’t felt that in so long, Jonah. Not since I lost Derrick. Not since Derrick. Not since?—”
When had I started crying? Jonah got up and immediately sat down at my side, putting an arm around my shoulders.
“It’s all right, Olly, it’s okay. Don’t cry. You’re with family.” Jonah’s voice was grounding.
Fox added his own voice. “And besides, I love that you’re with Beckham. No wonder he’s been smiling so much lately. I thought he was carrying around that London gray with him permanently, but I think you pushed all that away.”
“Yeah, Olly, I’m fully supportive of this. You deserve happiness, and it’s obvious that’s what Beckham is giving you.”
I sniffled and wiped at my nose and dried my tears. “I don’t know what came over me… I just, I guess you two were one of the biggest barriers for us. If you both didn’t approve, then we’d have some serious issues. I’m so close to both of you, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. That scared me.”
“And why wouldn’t we approve?” Fox asked.
“Because he works with you guys. Because you might have known something about him I don’t.” I took a breath, controlling the tears. “Because he’s older than me. By a lot. And that sometimes bothers people… I didn’t know if it would bother you both.”
“Oliver, does it bother you?” Jonah asked me bluntly.
“No.” There was confidence in my voice, even though emotion made it raw. “No, I don’t care. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I really don’t. I know I’ll never catch up, and I know there could be some challenges we have to face in the future, but what couple on earth doesn’t have to do the same? There’s always something to overcome, for everyone. I’m just happy I can do it with someone I’m in love with.”
Whoa. Holy Ru Paul’s Drag Race. I said it.
It was too soon. Logically, I knew that. But since when did logic ever factor into love? I wasn’t about to run and tell him, not yet, but I wasn’t about to take it back now it had slipped. And it seemed like neither my brother or Fox were angry about it either.
“And that’s exactly what life is about,” Fox said and Jonah nodded, neither of them making a big deal of me spilling my heart out onto the coffee table in front of me. “That’s how I felt when I found Jonah, and I know I wouldn’t let anything break that connection. The same way you shouldn’t.”
“Seriously, Olly. As long as you’re happy, then so am I. It’s the same thing I’ve wanted since I was pushing away bullies for you and introducing you to eligible friends of mine. Granted, you beat me to the punch with Beckham, but I’m glad you did.” His eyes told me he wasn’t lying. He wasn’t sugarcoating or glossing over this. He was saying every word he meant, the same as Fox.
“Thank you, guys. Really. I don’t know why I was so nervous.”
Jonah went back to his spot on the love seat. “I think it’s because you already feel so connected to him. You were scared something would mess it up.”
“Yeah. I think that was it. Not that I assumed you two would have an issue or anything.”