The Italian's Love-Child

‘Well, isn’t it?’

‘It isn’t the marriage I want it to be, no,’ he said carefully.

‘You mean you want us to start having sex?’

He gave a bitter laugh. ‘Are you trying to shock me, cara? Or anger me? Do you want to enrage me with your bold, flip comments so that I come over there and kiss you and take your clothes off and pull you to the floor and make love to you?’ He saw the sudden dull flush which darkened her cheeks and he felt an answering ache which almost tore him in two. ‘Oh,’ he said softly. ‘So you do.’

‘Luca,’ she said huskily and her tongue snaked out to circle her lips, like a hungry little animal. ‘Yes. Yes, of course I want that. Don’t you?’

He felt so close to acting out his words that he had to resist the desire with every ounce of self-restraint he possessed.

‘No! No, I don’t!’

She stared at him in hurt and confusion. This was the rejection she had always feared, but maybe it had been a long time coming. And maybe she needed to know. You couldn’t keep hiding from your feelings just because you were afraid they might hurt you. Being mature meant having the courage to confront the real issues.

She stared at him, her voice shaking, willing herself not to cry. ‘What, then? What is it that you want, Luca?’

He could talk around it for hours. Quantify and justify and explain it, but in the end there was only one thing he needed to tell her. ‘I need to tell you that I love you, Eve,’ he said huskily. ‘Ti amo. I love you so very much.’

Eve bit her lip. ‘Please don’t say that.’

‘Why?’ His voice was gentle. ‘Don’t you want me to love you?’

What had she just thought about having courage? ‘Yes.’

It was such a soft whisper of a word that he barely heard it. ‘Say that again, Eve.’

‘Yes. Yes.’ She turned her eyes up to him. ‘Yes, of course I want you to love me as I love you, but I’ve wanted it for so long that I’m scared you don’t mean it.’

‘Oh, I mean it,’ he said. ‘But this is all new stuff to me, Eve. I have never said it before. Never felt it before.’

For a moment she saw vulnerability written on his face. ‘What, never?’

He shook his head and now the aching within him became more than physical. For the first time in his life he felt a great, gaping emotional hole which only Eve could fill. ‘Tesora—’

The haunting, heartfelt term of endearment broke through every last barrier and she crossed the distance between them, only a little distance really, but it felt like the divide between the old life and the new.

‘Luca. Dear, darling, sweetest Luca.’

He pulled her into his arms, kissed the top of her head and then tipped her face up to look at his and her green-grey eyes were huge. He saw the tears on her cheeks and he brushed them away with his lips.

‘Never cry, tesora,’ he whispered against her skin. ‘Promise me you will never cry again.’

She shook her head. ‘I can’t promise you that,’ she said shakily. ‘We might have rows—fierce, terrible rows—and you might make me cry—’

‘And will you make me cry, too?’ he teased softly.

‘You? A big man like you. Crying?’ But her words faded to nothing when she saw the brightness in his dark eyes and in that moment she saw his vulnerability too and her hug became fierce and she was overwhelmed with love for him. ‘Luca,’ she whispered. ‘Oh, Luca, please.’

He knew what she wanted and what he wanted, too. He had waited too long and he could wait no longer. Without another word he picked her up into his arms and carried her into his bedroom.

‘I want to see you naked,’ he said shakily. He unbuttoned the white skirt and let it fall to her feet. ‘Cielo dolce,’ he murmured indistinctly. ‘For too many nights have I dreamed of you like this.’

She felt his warm hands on her hips and she felt so dizzy with desire she thought that she might faint. ‘I…I know. I’ve dreamed of it, too.’

‘Undress me,’ he urged as he slid a delicate little pair of panties down her legs, his fingertips brushing against the silkenness of her thighs and feeling her shiver beneath them.

‘I…I…can’t,’ she breathed helplessly. ‘I can barely think, nor breathe, nor feel…’ But he took her hand and guided it to his heart.