“Including me. And how many this year? Do you, like, try to double that number? Is that how it works?”
“No, there’s so much more to it than that. It’s not about numbers. You’re making it sound—”
“How many men? Do you get a little charm for each guy? Is that how it works? Collect all ten?”
I slid my bracelet, my beautiful bracelet, behind my back, catching it on my black satin dress, which minutes ago had felt so sexy against my skin and now felt skimpy, wanton. I heard a voice down the hall, one tinged with kindness.
“Are you okay, Cassie?”
At the end of the dim hall, I made out Jesse’s silhouette. He steppe
d closer to us and into the light.
“Oh hey!” said Will. “It’s coffee guy with the excellent left hook! Which one was he, Cassie? Was he from this year’s roster or was he last year’s model? Did you two swing from chandeliers? Something tells me no. Ropes and chains, I bet.”
“Will, stop it.”
“Or maybe you’re into having him spank you.”
“Will!”
“Hey, listen, man,” Jesse said, his hands raised in surrender. “I didn’t mean to interrupt a personal discussion. I’m just a friend coming to see if she’s all right.”
“I bet you did. Cassie, you interested in going home with your fantasy friend here, or plain old me?” His voice cracked. “A guy who never fucking knows when he’s being played for a complete chump.”
He gave his head a vigorous shake and shoved his hair back in the way he does when words need his hands’ help to come out.
“Will, I’m sorry you heard about it like this. And I know this is a lot to process, but here’s the truth that matters most: I love you. And I’m sorry I never told you everything before, but I was worried you’d react like this,” I said, realizing I was probably hurting Jesse in the process of trying to comfort Will.
“Know what? Before I say something I regret or that I don’t mean, I’m out of here. Because this … this is all a bit too freaky-deaky for me. I’m just a regular guy, who likes sex with regular women, nothing too weird or out there. No big group thing. Sorry to disappoint, Cassie, but it’s probably best I tell you now that I’d bore the shit out of you. So I’d prefer it if we keep things strictly professional between us from now on, okay? That way what you do after hours is your own fucking business. Because me? I have had enough bedroom drama to last me a fucking lifetime. So, enjoy yourselves. Enjoy each other, for all I care.”
“Will!” I yelled as he walked away, Jesse gently holding me back from chasing him.
“It might not be the best time to reason with him, Cassie. Might wanna let him sleep on this.”
I flung my back against the wall, unable to look Jesse in the eye.
“He’ll see it differently after a few days, Cassie. Just give him a bit of time,” he said.
“What are you doing here, anyway?” I asked.
“The event was last-minute. Matilda needed a caterer.”
“I didn’t mean … of course you’re here. Thank God you were here. Way to give it to Pierre,” I said. Then it came, a cascade of tears. “I’m so sorry, Jesse. I am so sorry.”
“Hey, hey, hey. You don’t need to say sorry to me, Cass. You’ve never lied to me,” he said, pulling me in for a tight embrace while I briefly, quietly, cried into the front of his chef whites.
After I stopped shuddering, he handed me a cloth napkin that was dangling from his pocket.
“Here. Let’s get you the fuck out of here.”
And that’s what he did. He carefully walked me through the main hall; the party was loud, in full effect. It was as though no lives had been ruined, no love lost, no secrets revealed. Matilda was in conversation with a journalist, her eyes locking on me as I passed. She reached out a hand, excused herself and came to me.
“Cassie,” she said, gently tugging me by the forearm to speak directly into my ear. “It will be okay. I promise you.”
“No, it won’t, Matilda. I’ll call you tomorrow,” I said, my tone flat, my expression deadened.
She looked from me to Jesse. “Take good care of her.”