Holden’s chest heated, the warmth spreading through his whole body.
When Sean sped up, Holden did the same, his nerve endings sparking until a fire ignited inside him. They sped down the trail, adrenaline making his heart beat faster and faster as he watched his nephew clearly enjoying himself, and he felt that Monroe and Wyatt had a big hand in that.
He smiled wide behind his helmet, bumped over a small hill, twisted the throttle, and flew.
“Oh my God! That was the coolest thing I’ve ever done!” Sean was sweaty, dirty, and red-faced. “I really liked that spot with all the little hills. They were kinda like whoops in a Supercross track! I thought I was gonna lose control on one, but then I was just like, brummm, and flew right into the next one.” Sean’s words raced, high-pitched and breathless with excitement.
“Dude, I know! I’ve wrecked in that spot before. It gets pretty gnarly in some places, but you had really good control. You’d never know that was your first time riding,” Wyatt told him.
They’d ridden for hours and had just returned. The boys were busy chatting, complete with ATV and moto sounds, as Holden stood close to the shed, watching Sean. He felt…fuck, he felt good, happy, a calm inside him he hadn’t known was missing.
Monroe came out of the shed then, shirt off, and leaned against the building beside Holden. “Not sure I’ve ever seen you smile so big.”
Holden looked over at him. Monroe had his arms crossed. His chest gleamed with sweat, and he’d plucked a ball cap from somewhere and had it on backward. It was an older one, sort of dirty, and he didn’t seem to mind getting his wet hair in it.
“It’s pretty fucking freeing out there, gives you a good rush, but watching him… Fuck, man. It’s incredible.”
“Yeah, I know. Sometimes I just sit back and look at Wyatt in awe. Like…how did I get so lucky? That this is my life? I mean, I know there are sacrifices, but he makes it worth it.”
“I think anyone who’s in your life is lucky, and they look at you with the same awe. Your son does. Lindsey does. Your sister and her kids too.” Holden wasn’t typically the kind of guy to say things like that, but he couldn’t help it when it came to Monroe. The truth was, he didn’t want to. It was important to him that Monroe knew how special he was.
Monroe inhaled sharply, the look in his eyes darker, deeper, and they held Holden as if in a trance; he couldn’t turn away. They stared at each other, Holden didn’t really know why, but even if that spell he was just thinking about dissipated, he didn’t think he’d break eye contact.
It was Monroe who ended the silence. “You keep saying things like that to me, and you might make me blush…or get a big head.” The words were spoken playfully, with intent behind them, as if Monroe wanted to lighten the moment, but the small tremor in his voice was revealing.
There were so many things on the tip of Holden’s tongue, flirtatious words filled with innuendo, but he forced himself to turn away instead. He had no right. He had a boyfriend, and besides, Monroe wanted different things than he did and deserved to have those things.
He cleared his throat. “It was definitely a good time. I have a feeling Sean’s not gonna stop asking about something to ride. I’ll have to figure out all the details. Since I’m not sure where they’ll live when they move out of the cabin, I don’t know if they’ll have space. Plus, when I go back home, there won’t be anyone to take him out.”
Somehow, Holden didn’t have to look at Monroe to know those words made him frown. Guilt immediately weighed him down, tried to drown him. He hadn’t meant to upset Monroe, if that’s even what he was feeling. Hell, maybe he just thought Holden was a dickhead for not moving to Harmony.
Maybe he was.
Him having a life in Atlanta, though, having to go back, was reality.
“Sean is always welcome to ride with us, and if he gets a bike, he can keep it here.”
He’d known Monroe would say that, heard the words in his own head, spoken in Monroe’s deep timbre, before he’d uttered them. “That right there, it’s what makes people look at you the way they do.”
Holden walked toward the boys after that, just as Wyatt turned and said, “Dad, I’m starving. Can Sean have lunch with us?”
“Of course. Holden too. Let’s go find something to eat before you guys wither away.”
Wyatt rolled his eyes. “You’re such a dork.”
“I know you are, but what am I?” Monroe playfully put his son in a headlock, ruffling his hair and making the boy laugh.