Firefly Lane (Briar County 1)
Page 39
“There are a lot of things I’m good at, babe.”
Yeah, there were. Vince was…he was great. He was Holden’s closest friend. Really one of the few people he trusted completely, only…things felt different with them now. He couldn’t quite figure out why, and it wasn’t just on his end either. Vince had always been affectionate, but he’d hardly touched Holden the whole time he’d been there.
“Let’s go inside.” It wasn’t a good response to what Vince had said, but Holden wasn’t sure how else to reply.
Vince nodded, a little heaviness in his gaze. He gave Holden a sad smile, then got out of the car. When they got into their room, Holden closed the door behind them, and was surprised when Vince said, “Gregory kissed me. I stopped him, but not right away. It was less than a minute, but there was time in there where I kissed him back.”
“Oh. Um…” Holden walked toward the chair in the room and sat in it, waiting to feel…something. He wasn’t sure what. He should probably be hurt…or angry, but as much as he cared for Vince, he wasn’t. He didn’t even feel betrayed.
“I’m sorry. You know me, Holden. I’m not a cheater. I don’t know what happened, and it’s killing me that I did that to you. Even if I feel something for him, I shouldn’t have let him kiss me. It was wrong.”
“No.” He shook his head. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. We’re…” They were close. They were great friends. They were fantastic in bed together. But Holden wasn’t in love with him. He loved Vince, but he wasn’t in love with him. He’d always known that, but it felt different in that moment.
“We’re not meant to be, babe. You know that, and I know it too.”
“No,” Holden agreed. “We’re not.”
Vince sat on the bed across from him. “You’re probably the best friend I’ve got. Our relationship worked so long…well, I think because I’m not in love with you. And I’ve always known you’re not in love with me. We fit because we didn’t put expectations on each other, because we didn’t need them. That should have told us something right there. After a year, shouldn’t we have wanted more? I think I’ve known for a while, but I didn’t want to lose your friendship, and I didn’t want you to be alone. You mean too much to me for that, but…you like him. Monroe.”
Holden could have fallen out of his chair with shock. His pulse shot up. “What? No. It’s not like that.”
“You’re attracted to him.”
“You saw him. Who wouldn’t be?”
“You’re different with him, babe. I can see it. Do I think you’re in love with the guy? No, maybe not, but there’s an…easiness in the way you are together. You let your guard down with him. I see the way you look at him, but I’m not sure you even realize it—that you watch him. That you smile when you do it.”
His heart beat faster. His chest got tight. “I think you’re imagining things.”
“I think you’re lying to yourself.”
“I’d fuck him, Vince. He’s hot. He’s a friend. That’s all there is to it.” Even if it wasn’t, he didn’t want the same things Roe did. He didn’t want to stay in Harmony. He had a life in Atlanta. “So…you and Gregory?” Again, he was struck by how much it didn’t bother him, the thought of Vince with someone else, except, “He hurt you before.”
“I know. That’s the hard part. I don’t know if I can trust him again. He and Liam did break up, though, before he kissed me, so there’s that. But I feel like a dick because he cheated on me, and I know how that feels, yet I let him kiss me.”
“Don’t.” Holden stood, walked over, and sat beside him on the bed. “Don’t do that to yourself. We’re good, you and me.” Because they probably should have broken up a long time ago. Holden had just told him he wanted to fuck Roe, and Vince had kissed his ex, yet neither of them was hurt, or upset.
“You’re a good man, Holden Barnett. I wished sometimes that things were different with us. That I could be in love with you and you with me. I thought maybe in time, but…”
“But we’re better off as friends. It wasn’t meant to be.”
“You should give it a try with Monroe. Fuck, he eats you up with his eyes. All hot and smoldering. I’m a little jealous I can’t watch.”
Holden chuckled. “It would never work. We want different things.”
“Do you even know what you want, Holden? I think you try to want certain things—to be alone, no true connections, nothing serious—but is that really how you feel?”
“Of course it is.” The words fell from his tongue in a strange way, sticky and off. “If Gregory hurts you again, I’ll kick his ass.”