Holden’s car wasn’t in the driveway when Roe got home. He grumbled as he made his way into the house, not letting himself think about Holden and Vince, not wondering where they were or what they were doing.
Fuck, he’d said he would look at the goats before he left the farm. They had babies that were ready to go, and he was thinking of bringing one home. He wanted to see if Marilee was interested in it. If not, he’d take care of it himself.
Maybe he shouldn’t, though. He was entangling himself into their lives too much, sticking his nose where it didn’t belong and trying to take care of people who didn’t need him to take care of them. He needed to focus on his own damn life instead of other people’s.
He went into the house, played with Zeus for a while, then got onto his computer to run some numbers for the store. He had leftovers for dinner and took care of the animals. Wyatt was with a friend that night. Lindsey had called him, but Roe didn’t answer. What Dennis had said wasn’t her fault, and he wasn’t taking it out on her, but in that moment, he needed some distance. He needed to be alone or…hell, maybe he should take a trip to Asheville. It was Sunday night—thankfully not one where he’d been expected for family dinner, not after how things went earlier—and though Sunday in Asheville wasn’t the best choice, still…there would be men out…
Maybe he should actually try and meet someone…date someone. He wouldn’t introduce them to Wyatt until he knew they were serious, and Asheville wasn’t that far away. Plus, anyone he met there would be more accustomed to small-town life.
But he didn’t. Instead he watched a damn show on TV, took a shower, and changed into a tee and loose shorts.
It was late when the light came on outside. It could have been an animal, but it also could be Holden. It shouldn’t matter either way, but Roe still went to the window and looked out. Holden was sitting on the picnic table.
“Goddamn it.” Roe tugged one of his baseball caps on backward, pushed his feet into a pair of shoes, and went outside.
Holden looked over his shoulder when Roe approached and smiled, a big, genuine smile that made Roe do the same. “Hey,” Holden said.
“Hey. Can’t sleep?” Roe sat beside him.
“Didn’t really try. The couch isn’t looking real tempting tonight. I think I got used to the hotel bed, which was a little shitty too, but better than a sofa.”
Which must have meant Vince left. “Like I said, I have spare rooms doing nothing but sitting here. Why not use one?”
Holden didn’t respond, and somehow, Roe hadn’t expected him to. Holden didn’t like to feel as if he was taking a handout. He already felt like his family had taken too much from Roe, but they hadn’t.
“Sean’s afraid I’m going to leave him,” Holden surprised him by saying.
“Shit.” It made sense, though. Not that Roe saw it as leaving Sean, but he was a kid, and his daddy had already left. Holden being temporary would feel the same for him. “You’re not going anywhere for good. You’ll be back. It might take him a bit to see it, but he will. Most of the time, we can’t really talk people into changing their minds or seeing things a different way; only our actions can do that. You won’t leave him. You love him too much for that, so he’ll see.”
Hell, it was hard trying to decide the right thing to say sometimes. Roe hoped he’d done it. When Holden looked over, leaned closer, and nudged him, he figured he had. He was proven right when Holden said, “You’re good at this—knowing the right thing to say.”
“Nah, I just get lucky sometimes. Vince spurred this line of thought from Sean?” Fuck. Why had he asked about Holden’s boyfriend? He should steer clear of that topic.
“Yep. It was a reminder to him, I guess, that I have a home and life somewhere else. He said he thought… Damn kid thought something was going on with us. That we’d end up together, so I’d stay, and it just… No offense to you, but he thought I’d stay for you, but not him, and that’s been fucking with my head. Again, not because of you, but because he doesn’t see himself as that important, as enough to stay for. It’s screwing with me, man. I don’t know what to do. I have a life in Atlanta, but I don’t want to hurt that boy.”
Jesus, that was a tough spot. Roe’s heart went out to him. He reached over, put a hand on Holden’s strong shoulder, and squeezed. “I’m sorry. I know that has to be tough, but you’re doing the best you can. What did Vince say about it?”