Firefly Lane (Briar County 1)
Page 70
There wasn’t much to do, as Roe only had chickens and goats, but Roe was one of those people who got up without an alarm, his body ready to soak in the sun and fresh air luring him out of bed. It also helped that they typically sneaked in a make-out or head session in the barn.
“You gonna slip away with me at the farm today?” Roe asked. “We can make something up. I got some places we can do a little messin’ around in without risking getting caught.” He waggled his eyebrows.
The familiar warmth Roe so easily gave him spread through Holden’s chest. He liked this man, loved this playful side of him. Loved that he was filled with so much damn heart. “Look at you, wanting to get your dick sucked all over Harmony. I think we can figure something out.” He knew they were mostly joking. Roe did like that, but Holden had a feeling neither of them would risk trying to have an orgasm when the whole family was getting together for Sunday dinner.
A dinner Sean was excited about, but Holden was still nervous.
“That’s what I like to hear.” Roe looked around, Holden assumed to make sure no one was coming. They were in the barn, but they were still careful. Roe leaned in and pressed his lips to Holden’s. He tasted like toothpaste and coffee. Like comfort and being huddled under a blanket, sitting by the fire in a snowstorm.
“Uncle Holden?”
They jerked apart, with only a second to spare before Sean came around the corner. That’d been close.
“Hey, bud. What’s up? You’re up early.”
“Couldn’t sleep. I was going to see if you and Roe needed help.” Sean rubbed his eyes.
“We just finished up.”
“Oh, okay.” The disappointment was clear on his face.
Roe said, “I can always think up some ways you can help if you want to. No obligation. I know it’s your summer and you’re working at the farm, but if you wanna be involved…”
Sean’s eyes lit up. “That’d be cool! I like doing this stuff with you guys.”
“We’ll figure something out, then. Plus, I’m thinking of getting some horses, which will be more work.” Roe twisted the rope he was holding in his hand.
“I’ve never ridden or anything. I don’t know about horses.”
“We can teach you. Wyatt will help too. If it’s okay with your mama, I mean.”
“Thanks, Roe! I’ll ask her!”
Holden watched the two of them for a moment. Roe was good with kids—loved them. It didn’t surprise him that he and Lindsey had decided to have Wyatt together. Holden couldn’t help wondering if he wanted more. If in some ways, Roe too wished he could have that perfect life with Lindsey that his brother spoke about.
When they finished their discussion, Sean lingered in the barn, and Holden could tell he wanted to talk, so he said, “How about we go for a walk?”
“Okay,” Sean replied.
Holden nodded a goodbye and thanks to Roe, then made his way out with Sean. They didn’t head for the trees, instead traveling across the grass.
“You have something you want to talk to me about?” Holden asked.
“Yes. I figured you’d get it more than Mom…so I wanted to tell you first. Man to man.”
Holden smiled. Christ, this kid was the best. “I’m listening.”
“I think…I think if you don’t mind, that Mom and I should move to Atlanta to be with you.”
Holden stopped, his feet growing roots. That was the last thing he’d expected. “First, you’re both always welcome with me, no matter when or where or why. You’re not happy here?”
“No, I am. Especially lately! I love all the work we do. And hanging out with Roe and Wyatt is super cool. It’s just… I know Mama likes having you around. I don’t want her to have to do everything by herself anymore. Dad never really helped. I know you got a good job in Atlanta and an apartment, but…do you think we can bring Polly? I don’t think Mama will want to leave her even though Roe would take good care of her.”
Holden stood there a moment, unable to speak. This kid was…fuck, he was really goddamned incredible.
“Mama told me once when we used to talk about you, how good a brother you were. That there was nothing you wouldn’t sacrifice for someone you loved, and…” He shrugged. “I guess I wanna be like you. Plus, with everything with my dad…”
Somehow, it felt like his heart both broke in half and swelled at the same time. “You don’t need to try and be like me. Do you know why?”
Sean shook his head.
“Because you’re already the best kind of man, okay? You’re smart, funny, kind, and there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for someone you love, just like you said about me. You don’t need me to be that way. It’s already who you are.” Holden put his hand on Sean’s shoulder. “I’ve spent my whole life afraid of becoming my parents. I don’t want you to fear that when it comes to your dad, okay? You’re better than that. You’re stronger than that. You’re your own man.”