Firefly Lane (Briar County 1)
Page 78
Yeah, Holden liked sharing that with Roe too. “I don’t want to cause problems with your family, Roe. I know you. You have a big heart. You want to be what everyone needs—what Wyatt needs, and Lindsey. What I need. But if I come between you and them, it’ll hurt you. I can’t do that. It would kill me. One day, you’d resent me for it.”
“No.” Roe shook his head. “Don’t do that. You say you know me, but I know you too. You’re looking for an excuse right now, and I won’t let you put it on me. It’s easier for you to walk away, to tell yourself it’s what’s best for me, because the other option is risking your heart. You don’t feel worthy of love, Holden—because of your parents, because of the way Marilee walked away from you. You feel like you’ll let people down, so you don’t let yourself get close, just like you did with Vince. I’m not going to let you get off that easily. You told Sean you were staying. Do you not want me? If not, tell me now. Because we have two choices here: either we’re all in, or it’s time we were just friends. But you need to decide if you want me or not. No bullshit. No excuses about family or jobs. If we want each other, we’ll find a way to make the rest work, even if it’s long-distance.”
Shock jolted through Holden’s chest. Roe would do that for him? He would take that risk even though it had led to heartbreak in the past? But then…that’s what love was, wasn’t it? Taking risks, putting yourself out there…letting go and trusting. If Roe could do it, wasn’t it time Holden did the same?
“Jesus, Roe. Don’t you see? There’s nothing in this whole damn world I want more than you. I’ve never…I’ve never known anyone like you before—so fucking open, so fucking good. I’m scared out of my goddamned mind, but even that isn’t stronger than how much I love you. I don’t know how—”
“We’ll figure it out,” Roe cut him off, and the spark in his eyes set Holden’s soul on fire. Roe’s mouth slammed down on his, and as soon as their lips touched, some of the fear melted away.
Roe was right. They’d figure it out. As long as they did it together, that was all that mattered.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Monroe
Roe had never been so lust-drunk in his life, only it was more than just lust. He hadn’t expected to hear Holden say he loved him. Hell, Roe wasn’t totally sure how it all happened. And he knew there were still things to work through, but damn it, he wanted to, wanted to find a way to figure it all out.
He swept his tongue inside Holden’s mouth, savored the taste of him. The feel. It was strange how he could go through life being happy, feeling complete, and then Holden came into his world and just by existing, showed Roe something he was missing—that spark, that thrill that said he was more than just living; he was alive.
Roe deepened the kiss, held Holden’s nape, digging his fingers in there. He wanted Holden naked, in his bed. Wanted Holden inside him.
He bit at Holden’s lip, dragged his tongue over the spot. “I love you too… Fuck me… I need you, want you inside me.”
“God yes,” Holden replied.
They scrambled off the picnic table and toward the house. They laughed and stumbled, high off their desire and…well, love for each other. Had it ever been like this for Holden before? Roe knew it hadn’t for him, and he didn’t think it had for Holden either.
The door was locked. He fumbled the keys. He was so eager, so hungry for it, crazy for Holden and to have him this way.
They pushed inside, clicking the lock into place behind them. “Shh,” Roe had the presence of mind to say. For a moment, he’d almost forgotten that Sean and Marilee were upstairs. “If we get interrupted, I’m not sure I’ll survive it.”
“Want me that bad, huh?” Holden asked, his voice cocky but playful.
“You know I do.” Roe grabbed Holden’s hand, pressed it against the thick erection behind his fly. Holden rubbed him through his jeans as Roe walked backward through the house, toward the hallway, and into his bedroom.
Their mouths pulled together, Roe’s a magnet and Holden’s made of iron. It was a rough, hungry kiss, groaning into each other’s mouths, hands tugging at buttons and zippers. Holden shoved his hand into Roe’s pants, palming his erection, making him moan.
“I can’t get enough of this,” Holden murmured.
“Want me to fuck you?” Roe asked. He would enjoy it either way. Or hell, he was always down for a flip-fuck.
“We’ll see. Really want to take you…to know what it’s like to be inside you.”